“No one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark.”
— From the poem 'Conversations About Home (at the Deportation Centre)'.
Archivist's Choice
Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth
Warsan Shire (2011)
Genre
Non-Fiction
Reading Time
30 min
Key Themes
See below
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Warsan Shire's first collection reclaims silenced sensuality and truths within Islamic narratives, striking the heart with its unsettling brilliance and clear language.
Synopsis
Warsan Shire's "Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth" is a poetry collection about identity, displacement, womanhood, and the immigrant experience. The poems explore Somali heritage and life in the diaspora, often focusing on intimate, sometimes painful, family relationships, especially between mothers and daughters. Shire uses strong, often raw, images to show women's struggles and strength, touching on sensuality, trauma, and the search for belonging. Through different stories, from personal reflections in 'My Father' and 'Hair' to social comments in 'Conversations About Home (at the Deportation Centre)', the collection paints a picture of carrying one's history while making a new life. It explores human connection and survival honestly.
Reading time
30 min
Difficulty
Medium
Pacing
Moderate
Mood
Introspective, Poignant, Raw, Lyrical, Evocative
✓ Read this if...
You appreciate powerful, emotionally charged poetry exploring themes of identity, womanhood, and the immigrant experience, with a focus on Somali culture.
✗ Skip this if...
You prefer traditional narrative structures or find intensely personal and sometimes difficult themes in poetry challenging.
Plot Summary
Ugly
The poem 'Ugly' begins with the speaker remembering her mother and grandmother calling her ugly as a child. This painful memory shaped how she sees herself. She describes how women try to change their bodies, like bleaching skin, to fit beauty standards, and their inner fight for self-acceptance. The speaker also notes how beauty is seen as a value, especially for women, and the fear of not being wanted or loved without it. This piece sets a tone of openness and explores inner conflict about identity and outside judgment, a common theme in Shire's work.
Grandfather's Hands
In 'Grandfather's Hands,' the speaker remembers her grandfather fondly, focusing on the feeling of his hands. These hands are shown as sources of comfort, wisdom, and how stories and traditions were passed down. The poem brings back a feeling of longing for the past and the protective presence of an elder. It shows the importance of family ties and how culture is shared through personal connections and experiences, even when people are displaced or things change. The grandfather links to roots and belonging.
Snow
The poem 'Snow' describes a young girl seeing snow for the first time, an amazing event. The speaker watches the world change under the white blanket, finding beauty in the new landscape. But beneath this beauty, there is a quiet hint of inner thought, perhaps a feeling of displacement or wanting to be somewhere else. Snow becomes a symbol for new experiences and how they can both charm and highlight one's inner state. It explores innocence, observation, and quiet thought about a new place.
In Love and in Trouble
'In Love and in Trouble' looks at the hard truths of romantic love. The speaker expresses the strong desire and vulnerability that come with loving someone, comparing ideal love with its messy, difficult parts. There are hints of cheating, heartbreak, and the struggle to keep one's self in a relationship. The poem is honest about emotions, exploring the good and bad of close connections, and how love can both lift and hurt. It touches on betrayal and the fight for self-preservation amid emotional chaos.
Beauty
In 'Beauty,' Shire continues to explore physical appearance and social expectations, but with a different focus. The poem criticizes the narrow definitions of beauty placed on women. Instead, it supports a broader understanding that includes strength and honesty. It suggests that real beauty is not about outer perfection but about lived experiences, scars, and a person's spirit. The speaker encourages rejecting superficial judgments and accepting one's unique self. This highlights the power that comes from self-acceptance and resisting unfair rules.
For Women Who Are Difficult to Love
'For Women Who Are Difficult to Love' is a celebration for women who are complex, intense, and often misunderstood. The speaker acknowledges the challenges these women face in a world that often prefers calm, obedient women. The poem celebrates their spirit, their untamed nature, and their refusal to make themselves smaller for others' comfort. It is a strong statement of their worth, encouraging them to embrace their power and individuality, even if it means being seen as 'difficult.' This poem connects to female empowerment, self-acceptance, and challenging traditional rules.
The House
'The House' uses the image of a house to represent the self, especially the female body and the memories, traumas, and histories it holds. The house is described as full of echoes of past lives, secrets, and the weight of inherited experiences. It suggests that the body is not just physical but a container for generations of stories, pain, and strength. This poem looks at ancestral memory and how past events, both personal and shared, continue to live in and shape the present self, making the body a living record.
What Your Mother Told You
'What Your Mother Told You' explores the legacy of advice, warnings, and fears passed from mother to daughter. The poem touches on protection, survival, and the harsh realities of being a woman. The mother's words, sometimes strict, often come from a wish to protect her daughter. It shows the complex relationship between mothers and daughters, the weight of inherited wisdom, and how women prepare each other for life's challenges, often with caution and strength. This piece highlights how knowledge and trauma pass between generations.
Hair
'Hair' looks at the many meanings of hair, especially for Black women. It discusses cultural importance, personal identity, and social pressures around its look. The poem describes styling hair as a ritual, self-care, and a statement of identity. It also subtly criticizes beauty standards that often devalue natural hair textures, instead celebrating the beauty and variety of Black hair. This piece connects hair to heritage, rebellion, and the close relationship women have with their bodies and self-image, making it a strong statement on cultural identity.
My Father, The Astronaut
'My Father, The Astronaut' shows a child's moving and imaginative view of an absent or distant father. The father as an astronaut suggests someone physically far away, perhaps due to moving, work, or being emotionally unavailable. Yet, his presence is still felt through a child's longing and idealization. The poem captures childhood imagination mixed with the pain of separation. It explores longing, the search for connection, and how children deal with complex family situations, especially in contexts of diaspora and broken homes. It creates a story of both wonder and quiet sadness.
Conversations About Home (at the Deportation Centre)
'Conversations About Home (at the Deportation Centre)' powerfully captures the voices of people dealing with displacement, identity, and the pain of being denied a place to belong. The poem is a mix of stories from migrants and refugees, sharing their personal tales of loss, longing, and the harshness of the deportation system. It makes the idea of migration feel real by giving a voice to those affected, showing their strength, their memories of home, and their desperate hope for safety and belonging. This piece is a clear comment on the global refugee crisis and the search for humanity.
The Cure for a Ghost
'The Cure for a Ghost' explores the lasting effects of past traumas and the process of facing and healing from them. The 'ghost' represents unresolved pain, memories, or family burdens that still affect the present. The poem suggests that healing means acknowledging these specters, understanding where they come from, and finding a way to live with them without letting them control one's life. It speaks to the journey of self-discovery and the courage needed to face inner struggles. It seeks a path toward peace and freedom from the past, emphasizing strength and the chance for change.
Principal Figures
The Speaker/Narrator
The Protagonist
From a position of vulnerability and questioning, the speaker evolves towards a stronger, more defiant self-acceptance, embracing her complex identity and advocating for marginalized voices.
The Mother
The Supporting
Her character is largely static, serving as a foundational influence on the speaker, representing the weight of tradition and protection.
The Grandmother
The Supporting
Remains a symbolic, foundational figure, anchoring the speaker to her cultural past.
The Grandfather
The Supporting
A static character serving as a symbol of comfort and tradition for the speaker.
The 'Difficult' Woman
The Supporting/Archetypal
Symbolizes an ideal of self-acceptance and defiance that the speaker aspires to or recognizes within herself.
The Migrant/Refugee Voices
The Collective Protagonist/Supporting
Their collective narrative highlights the ongoing struggle for recognition and humanity, inspiring empathy and understanding.
Themes & Insights
Identity and Self-Acceptance
Shire consistently looks at the many sides of identity, especially for women of color dealing with cultural expectations, diaspora, and personal history. Poems like 'Ugly' and 'Beauty' directly address societal beauty standards and the inner struggle for self-worth, pushing for an acceptance of one's true self, flaws and all. The collection suggests that real identity is not forced from outside but built from within, often through strength and defiance, as seen in 'For Women Who Are Difficult to Love.' The speaker often works to bring different parts of herself together to find a clear sense of self.
“My mother says, 'You are ugly, you are ugly as sin,' and I wonder if she knows that the ugliest thing about me is the way I love.”
Diaspora and Belonging
A main theme is displacement, longing for home, and the complex relationship with heritage in a diasporic setting. Poems like 'Conversations About Home (at the Deportation Centre)' give voice to migrants and refugees, showing the pain of being uprooted and the constant search for a place to belong. The collection often gives a sense of being 'between' worlds—between a lost homeland and a new, sometimes unfriendly, country. This theme explores how people carry their homes inside them, through memory and culture, even when physically separated.
“No one leaves home unless home is the mouth of a shark.”
Womanhood and Patriarchy
Shire explores women's experiences deeply, looking at the pressures, expectations, and traumas of womanhood. This includes critiques of traditional rules and beauty standards ('Ugly,' 'Beauty'), the complexities of love and desire ('In Love and in Trouble'), and how female wisdom and pain pass between generations ('What Your Mother Told You'). The poems often celebrate female strength and sisterhood, while also showing vulnerabilities and the limits placed on women. The collection speaks to the unspoken realities of female life, from personal relationships to wider social roles.
“I have been told that I am difficult to love. Because I am a woman. And a woman is a problem, a woman is a burden, a woman is a mouth that needs to be fed, a woman is a womb that needs to be filled.”
Trauma and Healing
The collection directly addresses different kinds of trauma—personal, ancestral, and shared. This includes the trauma of migration, war, loss, and the emotional wounds from relationships or social pressures. Poems like 'The House' and 'The Cure for a Ghost' explore how past traumas stay and shape the present self, often appearing as inner 'ghosts' or inherited burdens. The theme also includes the hard journey toward healing, acknowledging pain, and finding ways to move forward. It suggests that facing and accepting trauma are important steps to freedom from the past.
“You are a ghost, I tell you. You are a haunting. You are a whisper.”
Plot Devices & Literary Techniques
Metaphor and Simile
Figurative language used to create vivid imagery and deeper meaning.
Shire masterfully employs metaphor and simile to draw powerful connections between disparate ideas and to evoke strong emotional responses. For instance, the body is often described as a 'house' ('The House') to represent the repository of memory and trauma, or a distant father as an 'astronaut' ('My Father, The Astronaut') to convey absence and longing. This device allows her to explore complex themes of identity, belonging, and pain in a visceral and imaginative way, making the abstract concrete and enhancing the reader's understanding of the speaker's internal world.
First-Person Perspective and Confessional Tone
Direct, intimate narration that fosters empathy and immediacy.
The majority of the poems are written from a first-person perspective, often adopting a confessional tone. This creates an immediate and intimate connection with the reader, as if privy to the speaker's innermost thoughts and feelings. This direct address allows for raw emotional honesty, particularly when exploring vulnerable themes like self-worth ('Ugly') or the complexities of love ('In Love and in Trouble'). The confessional style lends authenticity to the experiences shared, making the personal resonate with universal human emotions and struggles.
Intergenerational Storytelling
The weaving of ancestral narratives and inherited experiences into the present.
Shire frequently incorporates elements of intergenerational storytelling, where the past and the experiences of ancestors directly influence the present. This is evident in references to mothers and grandmothers imparting wisdom, warnings, or even burdens ('What Your Mother Told You,' 'Grandfather's Hands'). This device highlights the lasting impact of family history, cultural heritage, and collective trauma, suggesting that individuals are products of a long lineage of experiences. It emphasizes the idea that identity is not only personal but also deeply rooted in the stories and struggles of those who came before.
Anaphora
Repetition of words or phrases at the beginning of successive clauses for emphasis.
Anaphora is a recurring rhetorical device in Shire's poetry, used to build intensity, create rhythm, and underscore key themes or emotions. For example, the repetition of phrases like 'No one leaves home unless...' in 'Conversations About Home (at the Deportation Centre)' powerfully emphasizes the desperation and dire circumstances that force migration. This repetition serves to drive home a point, making the message more impactful and memorable, and often creating a chant-like quality that resonates with the oral traditions of storytelling.
Critical analysis
Notable Quotes
“I’m not a refugee. I’m an immigrant. I’m not a refugee. I’m just a girl.”
— From the poem 'Ugly'.
“The world is a country I no longer belong to.”
— From the poem 'What We Did Not Tell the Searchers'.
“My mother taught me how to give birth to a child, how to tie a knot and how to untie it.”
— The titular poem 'Teaching My Mother How to Give Birth'.
“And if they ask you where you're from, tell them your name is foreign, your home is a language you can't speak.”
— From the poem 'The House'.
“Documentary of a family who left.”
— From the poem 'What We Did Not Tell the Searchers'.
“You are a wonder, a beautiful thing. You are a miracle.”
— From the poem 'Beauty'.
“My body is a coffin.”
— From the poem 'My Body Is A Coffin'.
“I will make them remember me.”
— From the poem 'The House'.
“I hid my name, my face, my language, my home.”
— From the poem 'What We Did Not Tell the Searchers'.
“I have my mother’s mouth, my father’s eyes; on my face an atlas of their suffering.”
— From the poem 'Ugly'.
“You can’t make a home out of a human being.”
— From the poem 'Home'.
“Every time I write, I am trying to find a way back to myself.”
— From the poem 'Writing'.
“I want to be remembered as the girl who was always too much.”
— From the poem 'The House'.
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Key Questions (FAQ)
The collection primarily explores themes of womanhood, displacement, identity, and the complexities of mother-daughter relationships within a diasporic and often religiously conservative context. It delves into the inherited trauma and resilience passed down through generations of women, particularly those from Somali and Muslim backgrounds.
About the author
Biography coming soon.
