The Art of Mean
How 'meanness' becomes a radical act of self-preservation and social critique for marginalized individuals.
Quote
We act mean to defend ourselves from boredom and from those who would cut off our breasts. We act mean to defend our clubs and institutions. We act mean because we like to laugh. Being mean to boys is fun and a second-wave feminist duty. Being mean to men who deserve it is a holy mission. Sisterhood is powerful, but being mean is more exhilarating.
Gurba redefines 'meanness' not as simple cruelty, but as a complex, necessary defense and a strong form of resistance. For a queer, mixed-race Chicana navigating a world full of racism, misogyny, and homophobia, traditional 'niceness' is often a weakness, a way to fit in that erases identity and allows abuse. Instead, meanness, used with wit and care, becomes a weapon—a shield against forces that try to silence, diminish, or harm. It is a refusal to be agreeable, a deliberate break from polite society's expectations, and a way to asse...
Supporting evidence
The author's repeated framing of 'being mean' as a 'holy mission' and an 'art form,' particularly for 'queers,' directly challenges conventional morality and empowers the marginalized.
Apply this
Reflect on situations where 'niceness' has disempowered you. Consider if a carefully deployed, strategic 'meanness' (e.g., setting firm boundaries, using sharp wit to deflect unwanted advances, refusing to engage with microaggressions) could be a more effective and self-preserving response. Practice asserting your boundaries with a playful, yet firm, refusal to compromise.









