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Archivist's Choice
This Lullaby
Sarah Dessen (2002)
Genre
Young Adult / Romance
Reading Time
12 Minutes
Key Themes
See below
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Synopsis
Remy, a cynical teenager with a jaded view on love due to her mother's four failed marriages, has a strict 'no serious relationships' policy. She is preparing to leave for college and is focused on tying up loose ends, including a summer job. However, her carefully constructed world is disrupted when she meets Dexter, a quirky and persistent musician who is the complete opposite of her usual type. Despite her best efforts to keep him at arm's length and stick to her rules, Dexter's unwavering optimism and genuine charm slowly begin to chip away at Remy's defenses. As their summer romance unfolds, Remy is forced to confront her preconceived notions about love and commitment, questioning whether she can truly open herself up to a relationship that might defy all her expectations.
Difficulty
Easy
Pacing
Moderate
Mood
Sweet, reflective, romantic, humorous, slightly melancholic.
Plot Summary
The Summer Before College
Remy, a pragmatic and cynical high school graduate, spends her last summer in Lakeview before moving to California for college. Her life is complicated by her mother, Barbara, a successful romance novelist who is about to marry for the fifth time. Remy, having seen her mother's many failed marriages, has a jaded view of love and relationships, preferring casual flings. She works at a local used furniture store, planning to earn money and avoid emotional ties. Her younger brother, Chris, is obsessed with their absent biological father, a musician named Danny McCarty, who wrote a famous lullaby for Remy.
A Chance Encounter with Dexter
While delivering a table for her mother's wedding reception, Remy meets Dexter, a charmingly awkward and persistent musician. He immediately takes an interest in her, despite her obvious disinterest and attempts to brush him off. Dexter is in a band and works various odd jobs to support his musical dreams. He is unfazed by Remy's cool demeanor and sarcastic remarks, continuously trying to engage her in conversation and make her laugh. Remy finds him irritating but also intriguing, a stark contrast to the emotionally detached relationships she usually pursues.
Dexter's Persistent Pursuit
Dexter starts showing up wherever Remy is, whether at her workplace or around town. He always has a witty comment, a silly joke, or a genuine compliment. He learns about her favorite snacks and brings them to her. Remy, despite trying to maintain her emotional distance, gradually lets her guard down. She is not used to such earnest affection, and while it initially makes her uncomfortable, Dexter's sincerity starts to appeal to a part of her she thought was dormant. She begins to question her rigid rules about relationships.
The Band and the Lullaby
Remy starts spending more time with Dexter and his bandmates, eventually attending their practices and gigs. She sees a different side of Dexter — passionate, dedicated, and talented. She also learns that Dexter's band is looking for a new song, and he suggests writing one inspired by her. This brings up her own complicated feelings about music, specifically the famous lullaby written for her by her biological father, Danny McCarty, who left her family when she was young. Chris, her brother, is obsessed with their father's music, and Remy finds herself confronting her own unresolved feelings.
Remy's Rules and Dexter's Challenge
Remy attempts to define her relationship with Dexter according to her rules: no serious commitment, no emotional investment, and a clear end date before she leaves for California. She tries to keep him at arm's length, fearing the pain and disappointment she's witnessed in her mother's life. However, Dexter's genuine affection, unwavering optimism, and refusal to play by her rules make it increasingly difficult for Remy to maintain her emotional barriers. He sees through her cynicism and tries to show her that love doesn't have to be a source of inevitable heartbreak.
A Summer of Firsts
Throughout the summer, Remy and Dexter's relationship deepens. They share intimate moments, explore their town, and support each other through personal struggles. Remy finds herself experiencing emotions she thought she was immune to, including genuine happiness and vulnerability. She begins to confide in Dexter about her anxieties regarding college and her complicated family history. Dexter, in turn, shares his own dreams and insecurities about his music career. Their connection becomes undeniable, making Remy increasingly anxious about her impending departure for California and the unspoken question of their future.
The Confrontation and the Lullaby's Meaning
Chris's continued obsession with their father, Danny McCarty, forces Remy to confront her own feelings about him and the famous lullaby he wrote for her. She has always viewed the song as a symbol of abandonment, but Dexter helps her see it from a different perspective. He encourages her to appreciate the beauty and love in the song, rather than focusing solely on the pain of her father's absence. This shift in perspective allows Remy to begin healing old wounds and re-evaluating her cynical outlook on love and commitment, realizing that even complicated love can hold beauty.
The Inevitable Goodbye
As the summer draws to a close, Remy's departure for California looms. She and Dexter must confront what their relationship means and if it can survive the distance. Remy, still grappling with her fears of heartbreak, struggles with the idea of a long-distance relationship. Dexter, ever the optimist, tries to reassure her, but the uncertainty is clear. The impending separation tests their bond and forces Remy to decide whether to embrace the risk of love or retreat into her familiar emotional detachment.
A Difficult Decision
On the day of her departure, Remy is torn. She experiences a deep internal conflict between her long-held beliefs about love and the connection she has formed with Dexter. She has to decide whether to follow her carefully laid plans for a detached future or to take a leap of faith into an uncertain but potentially fulfilling relationship. The decision is painful, highlighting her growth throughout the summer and Dexter's impact on her worldview. She grapples with the fear of being hurt versus the fear of missing out on something truly special.
A New Beginning
Remy ultimately decides to take a chance on love. While she still leaves for college in California, she and Dexter commit to trying a long-distance relationship. This decision is a significant turning point for Remy, showing her willingness to embrace vulnerability and the potential for heartbreak in exchange for genuine connection. She departs with a newfound hope and a more open heart, realizing that love isn't always perfect or easy, but it is worth the risk. Her journey to California now feels like a beginning, not just an escape.
Principal Figures
Remy Starr
The Protagonist
Remy transforms from a cynical, emotionally guarded individual into someone willing to embrace vulnerability and the uncertainties of love.
Dexter
The Supporting
Dexter remains largely consistent in his optimistic nature, serving as the catalyst for Remy's emotional growth and demonstrating the power of unwavering belief in love.
Barbara Starr
The Supporting
Barbara's character doesn't undergo significant change, but her actions and history serve as a constant point of reference and conflict for Remy's evolving understanding of love.
Chris Starr
The Supporting
Chris's arc is less about personal transformation and more about his role in prompting Remy to confront her past and re-evaluate her relationship with her father's legacy.
Lissa
The Supporting
Lissa largely remains a consistent, supportive friend, providing an external perspective on Remy's changing views.
Jessie
The Supporting
Jessie's character remains consistent, embodying a stable, supportive relationship within the narrative.
Ted
The Supporting
Ted's character remains consistent, primarily serving as a comedic and supportive presence within Dexter's band.
Danny McCarty
The Supporting
Danny McCarty's character is explored through Remy's changing perception of him and his music, rather than through direct action within the story.
Themes & Insights
The Nature of Love and Commitment
This theme explores different facets of love, from Remy's initial cynical, no-strings-attached approach to Dexter's earnest, hopeful commitment. It questions whether love is inherently doomed to fail, as Remy's mother's history suggests, or if it's a risk worth taking. The narrative argues for the latter, suggesting that true love requires vulnerability and a willingness to navigate imperfections and uncertainty, rather than seeking a perfect, idealized version.
“Maybe it was that you had to be the kind of person who could see it. Who could see love in a world where there was so much that was unlovely.”
Overcoming Cynicism and Fear of Vulnerability
Remy's journey is a central exploration of overcoming deep-seated cynicism and a fear of emotional vulnerability. Her past experiences, particularly her mother's multiple marriages and her father's abandonment, have led her to believe that love inevitably leads to pain. The story details her process of gradually letting down her guard, learning to trust, and accepting the risk of heartbreak as a necessary component of genuine connection. It highlights the courage required to open oneself up to love after being hurt.
“It was like she had these walls up, and I was just trying to find a way in. And then one day, I just found a door.”
Family Influence and Breaking Cycles
The novel explores how family history influences an individual's worldview, particularly Remy's relationship with her mother and absent father. Remy's cynicism is a direct response to her mother's romantic history, and her struggle to accept love is tied to her father's abandonment. The theme explores the challenge of breaking inherited emotional cycles and forging one's own path, rather than repeating the perceived mistakes or adopting the defensive mechanisms of previous generations. It emphasizes the journey of understanding and forgiving the past to build a healthier future.
“I mean, my mom’s been married, what, five times? I’ve seen enough to know how this usually ends.”
The Power of Music and Art
Music is a powerful thematic element, representing connection, emotion, and legacy. The famous lullaby written by Remy's father is a central motif, initially symbolizing abandonment but gradually transforming into a symbol of enduring love and memory. Dexter's passion for music and his songwriting process further emphasize how art can be a means of expressing deep feelings, healing wounds, and forming bonds. The theme suggests that art, particularly music, has a unique ability to transcend time and emotional barriers, offering comfort and understanding.
“Some songs were just that way. They got into your system, they became a part of you. And you never really knew why, or how, until it was too late.”
Plot Devices & Literary Techniques
The Lullaby
A famous song that symbolizes Remy's past and emotional journey.
The lullaby, written by Remy's biological father, Danny McCarty, serves as a central symbol throughout the novel. Initially, it represents abandonment and the pain of her father's absence, contributing to Remy's cynical view of love. As the story progresses, and with Dexter's influence, Remy's perception of the song evolves. It transforms into a symbol of enduring love, memory, and the complex nature of family relationships, ultimately helping Remy to reconcile with her past and embrace a more hopeful future. Its presence underscores the theme of art's power to evoke and heal emotions.
Remy's 'Rules'
A set of self-imposed guidelines for relationships that define Remy's emotional barriers.
Remy's 'rules' for relationships—no serious commitment, no emotional investment, and a clear end date—are a coping mechanism developed from observing her mother's failed marriages. This plot device highlights her fear of vulnerability and heartbreak. Dexter's continuous challenge to these rules drives much of the narrative conflict and character development. As Remy's feelings for Dexter deepen, her struggle to adhere to these rules demonstrates her internal battle between her learned cynicism and her burgeoning desire for genuine connection, ultimately leading to her emotional growth.
The Summer Timeline
A defined period of time that creates urgency and a sense of impending change.
The story is set during Remy's last summer before moving to California for college. This fixed timeline creates a sense of urgency and serves as a natural endpoint for her current life phase and her relationship with Dexter. The impending separation forces Remy to confront her feelings and make difficult decisions about her future. This device heightens the emotional stakes, making Remy's journey of self-discovery and her choice about love more poignant as she races against the clock of her departure.
First-Person Narration (Remy's Perspective)
The story is told entirely from Remy's internal, subjective viewpoint.
The novel is narrated in the first person by Remy, providing direct access to her cynical thoughts, internal conflicts, and emotional evolution. This perspective allows readers to deeply understand her guarded nature, her fears, and the reasons behind her skepticism about love. It makes her eventual softening and acceptance of vulnerability more impactful, as readers witness her transformation from the inside. The subjective narration also emphasizes her journey of re-evaluating her own beliefs and perceptions, making her growth feel authentic and earned.
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Notable Quotes
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"This Lullaby" follows Remy, a young woman who is cynical about relationships due to her mother's multiple marriages. Her views are challenged when she meets Dexter, a boy who doesn't fit her usual type, and she finds herself unexpectedly drawn to him.
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