
Biography coming soon.

Nick Burd (2009)
Genre
Young Adult / Romance
Reading Time
12 Minutes
Key Themes
See below
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During his last summer before college, Dade navigates a secret relationship, his parents' divorce, and a new love, ultimately facing identity and heartbreak to find his own path.
Dade Hamilton starts his last summer before college working a dull job at Food World. He is secretly seeing Pablo, a popular jock who will not admit their relationship because he has a girlfriend, Maria. Dade feels stuck and sees college as his escape. His parents' marriage is falling apart, adding to the stress at home. Dade often gets lost in his thoughts, watching the world with detachment. He wants a real connection and a life where he does not have to hide, making his current situation feel stifling.
At Food World, Dade meets Alex Kincaid, a new employee who immediately catches his eye. Alex is artistic, confident, and openly gay, everything Dade wishes he could be. Their first talks are full of unspoken understanding and flirtation. Dade likes Alex's honesty and how easily he moves through the world. This new connection makes Dade question his relationship with Pablo. Alex brings a hopeful element to Dade's otherwise bleak summer, suggesting the chance of true love and self-acceptance.
As Dade and Alex spend more time together, they grow closer. Alex's open nature inspires Dade to explore his own identity more honestly. Dade falls in love with Alex, a feeling that is both exciting and scary. This new love gives Dade the courage to start coming out, beginning with a few trusted friends. The difference between Alex's real affection and Pablo's secret demands becomes clear, pushing Dade to rethink what he wants. This time is a major turning point, as Dade starts to choose honesty over his hidden life.
As Dade's relationship with Alex becomes more serious and public, Pablo reacts with unexpected anger. Before, he was fine with their secret arrangement, but now Pablo becomes very jealous and possessive, unwilling to let Dade go. He tries to win back Dade's attention and affection through manipulation and threats. This sudden change in Pablo's behavior surprises Dade, who had thought Pablo would not care if Dade moved on since he did not want a public relationship. Pablo's actions create major conflict, threatening Dade's new happiness and freedom.
Driven by his love for Alex and a desire for an honest life, Dade finds the strength to break up with Pablo for good. This decision is hard, given Pablo's aggressive attempts to stop it, but Dade is set on having a relationship where he can be himself. Coming out to more people, including his parents, is a key step. While his parents' reaction is mixed amidst their own marital problems, Dade feels a deep sense of freedom. He and Alex fully embrace their relationship, enjoying the happy summer that now feels truly theirs.
With Pablo gone, Dade and Alex have a time of perfect happiness. They spend their days exploring their town, sharing talks, and growing closer emotionally and physically. For Dade, this is the first time he has felt truly seen and loved for who he is. Alex shows him new ideas and encourages his artistic side. This part of the summer is dreamlike, full of the joy and intensity of first love. Dade feels a sense of belonging and hope for the future he has never known, believing he has finally found his place.
Just as Dade and Alex's happiness is at its peak, a terrible event shatters their perfect summer. Alex Kincaid dies suddenly in a car accident. The news is a brutal shock, sending Dade into deep grief and disbelief. The world he had just started to build with Alex collapses. This unexpected loss challenges all the strength Dade has gained. The future that seemed so bright moments before is now clouded by emptiness. Dade must now deal with this pain while also grappling with his identity and the loss of his first true love.
After Alex's death, Dade is consumed by grief. He isolates himself, struggling to process the sudden loss. His parents, still dealing with their own issues, are not always able to support him fully, though they try. Dade finds some comfort in his friendship with Maria, Pablo's former girlfriend, who also knew Alex and understands loss. This shared grief creates an unlikely bond between them. Dade thinks about his relationship with Alex, cherishing the memories while wrestling with the unfairness of their short time together. He feels lost, but a deep strength slowly begins to stir within him.
As summer ends, Dade faces different parts of his past. He has tense interactions with Pablo, who, despite his earlier jealousy, also seems affected by Alex's death, though he shows it poorly. Dade continues to navigate his parents' upcoming divorce, seeing their pain and the end of his childhood home life. He realizes that his hometown, once a place he felt trapped, now holds both cherished memories of Alex and painful reminders of what he has lost. Dade understands that to move forward, he must acknowledge and deal with these things rather than just escape them.
Dade slowly begins to move through his grief. He finds small ways to honor Alex's memory, holding onto the love they shared as a source of strength rather than just pain. He relies on his friends, especially Maria, and starts to process his emotions more openly. Loving Alex, even for a short time, has changed him, making him stronger and more self-aware. He understands that while the loss is huge, the love he experienced was real and transformative. Dade starts to see that healing is not about forgetting, but about including the loss in who he is and finding a way to carry on.
As college approaches, Dade decides to embrace the future. He recognizes that his experiences, both happy and sad, have made him a more resilient and honest person. He understands that college is no longer just an escape, but a real chance for a fresh start, where he can live openly and honestly. While the pain of losing Alex will always be a part of him, Dade chooses to carry the love and lessons learned as he steps into this new chapter. He is ready to break free from his past and build a future where he can be true to himself, honoring Alex's memory by living fully.
The Protagonist
Dade transforms from a closeted, unsure boy into a self-assured young man who embraces his identity and finds strength in love and loss. He learns to live authentically even through tragedy.
The Supporting
Alex's arc is brief but impactful; he serves as the catalyst for Dade's self-discovery and the embodiment of true love, whose memory continues to guide Dade's path after his death.
The Antagonist/Supporting
Pablo starts as an obstacle to Dade's self-acceptance, evolving from a dismissive secret lover to a jealous antagonist, ultimately becoming a minor figure in Dade's past as Dade breaks free.
The Supporting
Maria transforms from an unwitting rival to an empathetic friend, providing support and understanding to Dade during his grief.
The Supporting
Her arc involves navigating the breakdown of her marriage and attempting to understand her son's evolving identity, albeit with difficulty and personal struggles.
The Supporting
His arc is largely static, reflecting the distant, strained relationship with his son and the ongoing breakdown of his marriage.
The Supporting
He serves as a consistent, supportive presence, offering intellectual and emotional encouragement to Dade throughout his struggles.
The Supporting
Josh remains a steadfast and supportive friend, his acceptance reinforcing Dade's courage to live authentically.
The novel explores Dade's journey of discovering and accepting his identity as a gay man. Initially closeted, Dade wants a life where he does not have to hide. His relationship with Alex Kincaid helps him come out and embrace who he is. Even after tragedy, Dade's new self-awareness allows him to deal with grief and imagine a future where he can live authentically, carrying the lessons from his first true love. This theme highlights the courage needed to be true to oneself.
“It was like the world had been in black and white, and Alex was the first splash of color.”
A main theme is the joy and sorrow of first love. Dade's relationship with Alex Kincaid is his first experience of real, shared love, bringing great happiness and a sense of belonging. This happy time is suddenly broken by Alex's tragic death, forcing Dade to face the reality of loss. The novel shows the complexities of grief, illustrating how love, even when cut short, can deeply shape a person and provide the strength to endure pain. It explores how the memory of love can both hurt and support.
“The thing about love is you can't control it. It's not a decision, it's a feeling. And once it takes hold, it takes hold.”
Dade's wish to escape his stagnant hometown, his parents' failing marriage, and his secret life drives the story. College represents a chance for a fresh start. While the initial goal is to flee, his experiences with Alex and the tragedy turn this desire into a more mature understanding of 'new beginnings.' He learns that escaping a place is not enough; one must also break free from internal limits and carry lessons learned. The theme shows how leaving the familiar can change a person.
“College was a horizon, a place to keep me from floating away.”
The novel explores different kinds of relationships: the secrecy in Dade's relationship with Pablo, the real and life-changing love with Alex, the strained bond between his parents, and the unexpected friendship with Maria. It explores the pain of hidden love, the power of real connection, and the difficulties of family dynamics. Each relationship helps Dade grow emotionally and understand human connection, showing that not all bonds are simple, but each offers lessons.
“You can't choose who you fall in love with. But you can choose who you stay with.”
A story centered on a protagonist's transition from adolescence to adulthood.
The novel is fundamentally a coming-of-age story, chronicling Dade Hamilton's emotional and psychological growth during a pivotal summer. It explores his journey from a sheltered, closeted teenager to a more self-aware and resilient young man. Key elements of this device include Dade's first true love, his navigation of complex family dynamics (parents' divorce), the challenges of self-discovery, and his confrontation with tragedy. The narrative arc follows Dade as he sheds his youthful innocence and develops the strength to face the future, marking his transition into adulthood.
Characters who highlight the traits of another character through contrast.
Pablo serves as a direct foil to Alex Kincaid, emphasizing Alex's positive qualities and Dade's growth. Pablo is closeted, manipulative, and possessive, forcing Dade to hide his true self. In contrast, Alex is openly gay, confident, and offers Dade genuine, accepting love, allowing Dade to embrace his identity. This contrast highlights the difference between a relationship based on shame and secrecy versus one built on authenticity and mutual respect, thereby underscoring the profound impact Alex has on Dade's journey of self-acceptance.
The season representing a period of intense change, growth, and eventual loss.
The 'last summer at home' symbolizes a liminal period of transition for Dade. Initially, it represents stagnation and a desire for escape. However, with Alex's arrival, it transforms into a time of intense growth, first love, and idyllic happiness—a 'dreamy curtain.' The abrupt end of summer, coinciding with Alex's death, symbolizes the shattering of this innocence and the harsh realities of life. The summer thus becomes a microcosm of Dade's entire journey, encapsulating profound personal transformation, joy, and sorrow before he steps into a new beginning.
The story told from Dade's personal and subjective viewpoint.
The novel is narrated entirely from Dade Hamilton's first-person perspective, providing intimate access to his thoughts, feelings, and internal struggles. This device allows readers to deeply empathize with Dade's experiences of being closeted, his longing for connection, the intensity of his first love, and the profound impact of his grief. The subjective lens highlights his personal growth and the emotional weight of each event, making his journey of self-discovery and resilience feel immediate and authentic to the reader.
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