Emery Lord (2015)
Genre
Young Adult / Romance
Reading Time
450 min
Key Themes
See below
Sign in to track this book
A year after tragedy, a meticulously planned high school comeback involving an old crush unravels when a quirky Quiz Bowl team and a sweet, nerdy cousin challenge a grieving girl to truly live again.
It has been one year since Paige Hancock's first boyfriend, Aaron, died in a drowning accident. This event caused her to pull away from her friends and school life. As a new school year begins, Paige wants to leave her grief behind and return to normal. She plans: 1) To date her long-standing crush, Ryan Chase, believing this will show everyone she has recovered. 2) To join a school club, specifically the debate club, to get involved socially again. 3) To host a party. Her best friends, Tessa and Morgan, are supportive but also cautious, having seen Paige struggle greatly. Paige's parents are also hopeful about her renewed efforts to participate in life.
Paige tries to join the debate club, but it is full. In the crowded hallways, she meets Max Watson, Ryan Chase's cousin, who recently moved from California. Max is charmingly awkward, very intelligent, and immediately notices Paige's quick wit. He convinces her to join the struggling Quiz Bowl team instead of debate. Paige reluctantly agrees, seeing it as fulfilling the 'join a club' part of her plan, even if it is not what she imagined. This unexpected turn immediately changes her carefully made strategy.
As Paige attends Quiz Bowl practices, she enjoys Max's company and the team's challenge. The team includes her friends Tessa and Morgan, and a new member, Kayleigh. She also starts spending more time with Tessa and Morgan, trying to fix the distance that grew between them after Aaron's death. Meanwhile, her pursuit of Ryan Chase continues, and he shows some interest, validating her initial plan. However, the easy friendship and intellectual connection she shares with Max begin to challenge her ideas about what she wants. She is drawn to Max's genuine kindness and understanding, which is different from her more superficial attraction to Ryan.
A school memorial is held for Aaron, bringing back many painful memories and emotions for Paige. She feels great guilt, believing she could have prevented his death, a secret burden she carries alone. This event makes her withdraw for a time, affecting her interactions with both Ryan and Max. Max, sensing her distress, offers quiet support without prying, showing a deeper understanding than Ryan. The memorial shows how much Paige is still processing her grief, despite her efforts to appear 'normal.' Her friends, especially Tessa, try to be there for her, but Paige struggles to explain the depth of her pain.
The Quiz Bowl team, led by Max, starts doing well, creating a strong sense of teamwork and accomplishment for Paige. During a celebration after a successful match, Paige and Max have a private conversation, sharing their vulnerabilities. Max tells Paige he has feelings for her, saying she is not 'broken' and that he sees her for who she truly is. This moment ends with their first kiss, a big change from Paige's original plan to date Ryan. This kiss leaves Paige feeling both excited and confused, as it goes against her goal but feels right.
After kissing Max, Paige is in a difficult position. Ryan Chase, perhaps sensing her change in attention, begins to actively pursue her, asking her out and fitting the 'perfect boyfriend' image she had imagined. Paige goes on a few dates with Ryan, trying to keep her original plan. But she constantly compares him to Max. She realizes that while Ryan is charming, he lacks the depth and real connection she shares with Max. This period is marked by internal conflict as Paige tries to balance her long-held fantasy with the unexpected reality of her feelings for Max.
Overwhelmed by her conflicting emotions and the lingering weight of her secret, Paige finally confides in Max about the full story of Aaron's death. She reveals she was with Aaron when he drowned and feels responsible for not being able to save him. Max listens patiently, offering empathy and reassurance that it was not her fault. He helps her understand that grief is complex and she does not have to carry the burden alone. This confession is a key moment for Paige, allowing her to release years of guilt and take a big step towards healing.
With her secret lifted and a clearer understanding of her feelings, Paige decides to stop pursuing Ryan Chase. She gently tells him she is not interested in dating him, choosing to follow her heart instead of her pre-conceived plan. She then fully commits to her relationship with Max, embracing the real connection they share. This decision marks a big turning point in Paige's journey, as she prioritizes her true happiness and emotional well-being over external validation or a made-up sense of 'normalcy.' Her friends, Tessa and Morgan, support her choice.
After making her choice, Paige actively works to strengthen her relationships with Tessa and Morgan, openly discussing her struggles and letting them fully support her. She also talks more openly with her parents, sharing her progress and letting them see her healing. With Max as her boyfriend, Paige experiences a love that is supportive, understanding, and allows her to be her true self. She continues to do well on the Quiz Bowl team, finding joy in intellectual challenges and friendship. The story ends with Paige looking forward to the future, no longer held back by her past grief or a rigid plan, but open to the possibilities of a life lived fully and genuinely.
The Protagonist
Paige transforms from a girl rigidly adhering to a plan to appear 'normal' into one who embraces her true self, allowing herself to grieve, heal, and find genuine love.
The Love Interest / Supporting
Max remains a consistently supportive and understanding character, serving as a catalyst for Paige's growth and demonstrating the power of genuine connection.
The Supporting
Ryan remains largely unchanged, his role being to challenge Paige's initial assumptions about what will make her happy.
The Supporting
Tessa navigates the complexities of supporting a grieving friend, ultimately strengthening her bond with Paige as Paige opens up.
The Supporting
Morgan consistently offers quiet support, her friendship remaining a stable anchor for Paige throughout her healing process.
The Mentioned
Aaron's character is static, serving as the inciting incident and the emotional hurdle Paige must surmount.
The Supporting
Kayleigh integrates into the friend group, becoming a supportive presence as Paige heals.
The Supporting
Her arc is tied to Paige's, as she witnesses and supports Paige's gradual return to health and happiness.
The Supporting
His arc mirrors Paige's, as he observes and supports her journey back to emotional health.
The main theme is Paige's journey through grief after her first boyfriend, Aaron, dies. The book explores how grief can isolate, the guilt that can come with loss, and the long, non-linear process of healing. Paige's first attempts to hide her feelings and create a 'normal' front show how hard it is to face deep emotional pain. Her eventual confession to Max and acceptance of her feelings shows that processing grief honestly is necessary to move forward.
““Grief is a house that has no doors. You can walk in, but you can’t walk out.””
Paige's story is about finding herself again after being defined by tragedy. Her 'plan' to date Ryan Chase and join a club is an attempt to rebuild an identity she believes she lost. Through her interactions with Max and her experiences on the Quiz Bowl team, she learns to let go of the expectations she has placed on herself and others. She discovers that her true self is strong, intelligent, and capable of love, even with the scars of her past. This theme shows how important being real is over appearing normal.
““You’re not broken, Paige. You’re just… changing.””
The book compares different kinds of love and connection. Paige's initial attraction to Ryan Chase represents a superficial, 'ideal' high school romance, based on outward approval and a desire for normalcy. In contrast, her relationship with Max Watson is built on real understanding, empathy, intellectual connection, and a willingness to see and accept each other's vulnerabilities. This theme explores how true love means seeing past appearances and offering constant support, ultimately leading Paige to a more fulfilling and real relationship.
““Love isn’t about perfection. It’s about accepting the imperfections, and finding beauty in them.””
The importance of strong friendships and family support is a repeated theme. Paige's best friends, Tessa and Morgan, give her a network of love and encouragement, even when Paige pushes them away. Their loyalty and willingness to stand by her, along with her parents' constant concern, show how important a support system is during personal crisis. The Quiz Bowl team also becomes a source of friendship and belonging, helping Paige get involved socially again and find joy in shared achievement.
““Sometimes, the people who love you the most are the ones who can see you when you’re invisible.””
A literal list of goals Paige sets for herself to achieve 'normalcy'.
This is a concrete, physical list Paige creates at the beginning of the book, outlining her steps to move past her grief (e.g., 'Get Ryan Chase to date me,' 'Join a club,' 'Host a party'). It serves as both a plot driver and a symbol of her attempt to control her emotions and create a facade of normalcy. As the story progresses, her deviation from and eventual abandonment of this list signify her growth and acceptance of a more authentic path, highlighting the futility of trying to plan emotional recovery.
A key setting and activity that fosters new relationships and intellectual growth.
The Quiz Bowl team acts as a catalyst for Paige's social re-engagement and personal growth. It's the unexpected club she joins, directly disrupting her original plan. The team provides a supportive environment where she can use her intelligence, build new friendships (with Kayleigh), and, most importantly, grow closer to Max. The team's success mirrors Paige's own progress in healing, as she finds joy and purpose outside of her grief. It symbolizes the unexpected paths to happiness.
The central traumatic event, subtly revealed through Paige's thoughts and memories.
While the book is set two years after Aaron's death, his memory and the circumstances of his drowning are a constant presence. Rather than explicit flashbacks, the details are woven into Paige's internal monologue and reactions to certain events (like the memorial). This device effectively communicates the lingering impact of trauma and guilt, gradually revealing the full story of what happened to the reader as Paige herself processes it. It underscores the theme of grief and the burden of unspoken secrets.
Two love interests representing different paths for Paige's healing and growth.
Ryan Chase and Max Watson serve as foils for each other, representing two distinct types of relationships and two different paths for Paige. Ryan embodies the 'perfect' boy from Paige's pre-grief life, symbolizing her desire for a return to superficial normalcy. Max, on the other hand, represents genuine connection, emotional depth, and unconditional acceptance. Their contrasting personalities and approaches to Paige highlight her internal struggle between what she thinks she should want and what she truly needs for healing and happiness.
““I think about how a person is made of so many things. All the people who loved them, all the people who didn’t. All the places they’ve been. All the songs they’ve listened to. All the words they’ve read. All the things they’ve seen.””
— Paige reflecting on the complexities of a person's life and experiences.
““The thing about grief is that it’s a roller coaster. You never know when the next drop is coming.””
— Paige contemplating the unpredictable nature of her grief after her boyfriend's death.
““Sometimes, the best way to get to where you’re going is to stop trying to control every single step.””
— Paige learning to let go and embrace uncertainty.
““It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to hurt. It’s okay to take your time.””
— A friend offering comfort and validation to Paige.
““Maybe the most important things in life aren’t what you accomplish, but who you become in the process.””
— Paige reflecting on personal growth and self-discovery.
““Love isn’t about finding someone to complete you. It’s about finding someone who accepts you completely.””
— Paige realizing a deeper understanding of love.
““It’s a strange thing, isn’t it? How one person can change the whole trajectory of your life, even if they’re no longer in it.””
— Paige thinking about Aaron's lasting impact despite his death.
““Sometimes, the scariest thing is just being honest with yourself about what you really want.””
— Paige struggling with her feelings and desires.
““There’s a difference between moving on and letting go. You can move on with someone, but you have to let go of the past on your own.””
— Paige grappling with the nuances of grief and new relationships.
““You can’t control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it.””
— Paige learning resilience in the face of adversity.
““Maybe the bravest thing you can do is just keep showing up, even when it feels impossible.””
— Paige pushing through her grief and trying to live again.
““The future isn't something you wait for; it's something you make.””
— Paige deciding to take an active role in shaping her life.
““Being happy doesn't mean you forget the sad things. It just means you find a way to carry them with you, without letting them weigh you down.””
— Paige's evolving understanding of happiness amidst her grief.
Ready to see how well you understood this book? Take our interactive quiz with 10 questions.
