“There are some things you can't undo, no matter how hard you try.”
— Reflecting on past mistakes and their lasting consequences.
Archivist's Choice
The Lonely Polygamist
Brady Udall (2010)
Genre
Literary Fiction / Spirituality
Reading Time
15-20 hours
Key Themes
See below
Track Your Reading
Sign in to track this book
A grief-stricken patriarch in a modern polygamous family, overwhelmed by his large family and failing business, risks everything for an illicit affair that promises to either shatter or redefine his faith and future.
Synopsis
Golden Richards, a devout Mormon polygamist with four wives and twenty-eight children, faces a midlife crisis. His construction business is failing, his family has internal conflicts, and he grieves the accidental death of one daughter and the stillbirth of a son. Doubting his faith, Golden struggles under his responsibilities. When his family moves to Arizona for a construction project, Golden has an affair with Roxanne, a non-Mormon construction worker with her own troubled past. This relationship, driven by Golden's loneliness and desire for comfort outside his family, leads to suspicions among his wives and children. When the affair is discovered, Golden faces a confrontation and is exiled from his family. This forces him into a period of reflection. He then seeks reconciliation, aiming to understand his own needs, the nature of love, and his place within his unique American family. He eventually finds a new purpose and a deeper, if more complicated, connection to his loved ones.
Reading time
15-20 hours
Difficulty
Medium
Pacing
Moderate
Mood
Melancholy, Thought-provoking, Humorous, Redemptive
✓ Read this if...
You enjoy sweeping family sagas with complex characters, explore themes of faith, grief, and unconventional family dynamics, and appreciate tragicomic storytelling.
✗ Skip this if...
You prefer fast-paced plots, are looking for a light read, or are uncomfortable with storylines involving infidelity and polygamy.
Plot Summary
The Burden of Golden Richards
Golden Richards, a devout member of a fundamentalist Mormon community in southern Utah, is overwhelmed by his responsibilities. He has four wives—Patty, Nonie, Caroline, and Susie—and twenty-eight children. His construction business, Richards & Sons, is failing, causing constant financial stress. He also carries immense grief from the recent accidental death of his young daughter, Dorey, and the stillbirth of a son. Golden feels isolated and unable to connect with his wives and children. He often retreats into himself or seeks solitude in his truck, where he experiences vivid hallucinations of Dorey.
The Arrival of a New Baby and Lingering Grief
Susie, Golden's youngest wife, gives birth to a healthy baby girl. This should bring joy, but it only deepens Golden's internal conflict. He is haunted by the contrast between this new life and the lost lives of Dorey and his stillborn son. One night, overwhelmed by a powerful hallucination of Dorey and his grief, Golden impulsively drives to the cemetery where Dorey is buried. He tries to dig up her grave, driven by a desperate urge to be closer to her or confirm her absence. The cemetery caretaker stops him and calls the police. This incident shows his deep distress and his inability to cope with loss.
The Arizona Project and an Unexpected Connection
Desperate for work, Golden accepts a large construction project in Arizona to build a fence for an ostrich farm. He leaves his family in Utah, seeing the job as both a financial necessity and an escape from home pressures. While working in Arizona, he meets Roxanne, a fellow construction worker. Roxanne is an independent woman, a single mother, and a former addict. Golden, feeling emotionally deprived and isolated, is drawn to Roxanne's directness and her ability to see past his stoic facade. Their working relationship evolves into a deeper connection, offering Golden understanding and intimacy he feels is missing from his life.
An Affair Begins
Golden and Roxanne's connection deepens, leading to an affair. Golden, who has always lived by strict religious and communal rules, finds himself in a morally compromising situation that challenges his beliefs. He is torn between his devotion to his wives and family and the intense, forbidden comfort he finds with Roxanne. The affair provides a temporary relief from his grief and the demands of his polygamist life, but it also fills him with guilt and fear of exposure. He knows the devastating consequences it would have on his family and community standing. Roxanne also struggles with the implications of their relationship, knowing Golden is married with many children.
The Growing Suspicions and Family Tensions
As Golden spends more time in Arizona, his wives—Patty, Nonie, Caroline, and Susie—become suspicious. His excuses for prolonged absences become weak, and his emotional distance when he is home is clear. The wives, already dealing with their complex hierarchy and individual struggles, sense a deeper problem. Tensions rise in the household as they speculate about Golden's behavior. The children also feel their father's absence and emotional withdrawal. The family, already strained by financial difficulties and Dorey's death, begins to fray, reflecting Golden's internal disarray and his secret.
Roxanne's Past and Growing Complications
As Golden's affair with Roxanne continues, he learns more about her difficult past, including her struggles with addiction and her estranged relationship with her family. Her challenges draw Golden deeper into her life, making it harder for him to leave. He feels a sense of responsibility and protection towards her, which further blurs his commitment. Roxanne's son, a troubled teenager, also enters the picture, adding another layer of complexity to Golden's secret relationship. The affair is no longer just a private escape; it is becoming intertwined with Roxanne's complicated reality, threatening to unravel Golden's life.
The Confrontation and Revelation
The truth about Golden's affair with Roxanne eventually comes out. One of his sons, who works with him, discovers evidence of the affair, leading to a painful confrontation with his wives and the community elders. The revelation shatters the fragile peace of the Richards household and brings shame upon Golden. His wives are heartbroken and furious, feeling betrayed by the man meant to be their spiritual and temporal leader. The community, built on strict principles of fidelity and family, condemns Golden's actions, threatening his standing and his family's future within their world. His life, as he knew it, begins to crumble.
Exile and Reflection
After the revelation and the community's judgment, Golden is exiled from his home and family. He lives separately, dealing with the consequences of his actions. During this isolation, Golden reflects on his life, his grief, his choices, and the pain he caused. He recognizes his mistakes and how his unaddressed grief led him to self-destruction. This exile is a period of intense introspection, forcing him to confront his vulnerabilities and the true meaning of his commitments to his family and faith.
The Path to Reconciliation
Golden, humbled and remorseful, begins the difficult journey of seeking forgiveness from his wives and children. He understands that trust, once broken, is not easily mended. He makes sincere efforts to communicate with his family, acknowledging his failures and expressing his regret. The process is slow and painful, marked by anger, hurt, and skepticism from his wives. However, his genuine remorse and his willingness to face the consequences of his actions slowly begin to open a path towards potential reconciliation. He starts to understand that true redemption requires sustained effort and a renewed commitment to his family.
A Renewed Sense of Purpose
Towards the novel's end, Golden, though changed by his experiences, finds a new purpose. He understands that his love for his family, despite his flaws, is real and enduring. He commits to rebuilding his life and relationships, not just out of duty, but out of a more mature understanding of love and commitment. He learns to integrate his grief for Dorey, rather than being consumed by it, and to appreciate the complex, messy, but precious reality of his family. The ending suggests a path towards healing and a redefined sense of belonging, with Golden accepting the burdens and joys of his life with new wisdom.
Principal Figures
Golden Richards
The Protagonist
Golden transforms from a stoic, grief-stricken man who seeks escape in an affair to a humbled, self-aware individual who accepts responsibility and works towards genuine reconciliation and redemption.
Patty Richards
The Supporting
Patty endures Golden's betrayal and, despite her pain, eventually finds a path towards forgiveness and a stronger, more honest partnership with him.
Nonie Richards
The Supporting
Nonie gradually finds her voice and asserts her needs within the family, using her art as an outlet for her unspoken emotions.
Caroline Richards
The Supporting
Caroline asserts her independence and navigates the challenges of balancing her desires with her commitments, eventually finding a more defined role for herself.
Susie Richards
The Supporting
Susie matures and develops a stronger sense of self, learning to navigate the intricate dynamics of her family and assert her own needs.
Roxanne
The Supporting
Roxanne, initially an agent of Golden's escape, ultimately confronts her own past and finds a path towards stability, influencing Golden's journey towards redemption.
Dorey Richards
The Mentioned
Dorey's memory serves as a constant reminder of Golden's unresolved grief, pushing him to confront his emotional paralysis and eventually find a way to integrate her memory into his life without being consumed by it.
Themes & Insights
Grief and Loss
Grief and loss are central to the novel. Golden Richards's profound, unaddressed sorrow over his daughter Dorey's accidental death and the stillbirth of a son emotionally paralyzes him. His inability to mourn leads to his emotional withdrawal from his family, his desperate attempt to dig up Dorey's grave, and his affair. The novel explores how unacknowledged grief can fester, leading to destructive behaviors and isolation. Healing requires confronting and integrating loss into one's life. The family as a whole also deals with this collective loss, often in silence, which adds to the tension.
“He understood that his grief, like a river, had simply found a new channel, carving its way through him whether he wanted it to or not.”
The Nature of Love and Commitment in Polygamy
The novel examines the complexities of love, commitment, and family within a polygamous structure. It shows the unique challenges faced by Golden's four wives—Patty, Nonie, Caroline, and Susie—each seeking his attention, affection, and resources, while also managing their relationships with each other. It questions whether one man can truly meet the emotional needs of multiple wives and a large family, highlighting the inherent inequities and the potential for loneliness and resentment. Golden's affair, while a betrayal, also shows his personal struggle to find a singular, intimate connection he feels is missing in his plural marriage.
“He loved them all, in his way, but sometimes it felt like loving a country, vast and demanding, rather than a single person.”
Redemption and Forgiveness
A core theme is the journey towards redemption and forgiveness after betrayal. Golden's affair shatters his family and his standing in the community, forcing him into exile and self-reflection. The novel explores the difficult process of earning back trust, not through grand gestures, but through consistent, humble efforts and genuine remorse. It delves into the capacity of individuals and a family to forgive, not just the transgressor, but also themselves, and to find a path forward after immense pain. The ending suggests that while scars remain, healing and a renewed commitment are possible.
“Forgiveness wasn't a single act, he realized, but a long, slow climb up a mountain of broken trust.”
Identity and Belonging
The characters, especially Golden and his wives, grapple with their identities within a strict religious community and a large family. Golden struggles with his identity as a patriarch, a businessman, and a man consumed by grief. His affair represents a search for an identity outside these roles. His wives, especially Caroline and Susie, also seek to define themselves beyond their roles as 'sister wives,' striving for personal agency and recognition. The theme explores the tension between communal belonging and individual desire, and the search for one's true self amidst societal expectations and personal crises.
“He was Golden Richards, husband of four, father of twenty-eight, and yet sometimes, he felt like no one at all.”
Plot Devices & Literary Techniques
Hallucinations/Visions
Golden's vivid, recurring visions of his deceased daughter Dorey.
Golden experiences frequent, vivid hallucinations of his deceased daughter, Dorey. These visions are not mere memories but tangible, almost interactive experiences that underscore the depth of his unaddressed grief and his psychological distress. They serve as a powerful externalization of his internal turmoil, driving some of his most desperate actions, such as his attempt to dig up her grave. This device allows the reader direct access to Golden's internal world and the intensity of his sorrow, illustrating how his grief has become a living, breathing entity within him.
The Arizona Project
A construction job in Arizona that provides Golden with an escape and leads to his affair.
The construction project in Arizona acts as a physical and metaphorical escape for Golden. Geographically distant from his family and community in Utah, it provides him with the anonymity and freedom to act outside the strictures of his polygamist life. This physical separation creates the opportunity for his affair with Roxanne, highlighting the idea that distance can lead to moral transgression when internal conflicts are unresolved. The project itself, building a fence, can also be seen as symbolic of the barriers Golden is trying to erect or break down in his life.
The Polygamist Family Structure
The inherent complexities and challenges of a plural marriage and large family.
The polygamist family structure is not just a setting but a crucial plot device that drives much of the narrative's conflict and character development. It creates inherent tensions among the wives, financial strain, and unique emotional dynamics that contribute to Golden's sense of overwhelm and isolation. The rules and expectations of this structure also amplify the consequences of Golden's affair, making his betrayal far more devastating than it might be in a monogamous context, and setting up the dramatic stakes for his potential redemption.
Financial Struggles
Golden's failing construction business and the constant pressure of providing for his large family.
Golden's ongoing financial struggles with his construction business, Richards & Sons, serve as a constant source of stress and a major driver of plot. The immense cost of providing for four wives and twenty-eight children puts immense pressure on Golden, contributing to his sense of burden and his emotional withdrawal. The need for money is what initially sends him to Arizona, directly leading to his affair. This device grounds the narrative in a realistic struggle, highlighting the practical difficulties of his lifestyle and adding another layer to Golden's midlife crisis.
Critical analysis
Notable Quotes
“Sometimes you just have to keep moving, even if you don't know where you're going.”
— Trying to find a new path after a significant life change.
“Love is a complicated thing, especially when you have a lot of it to go around.”
— Exploring the challenges and complexities of plural marriage.
“A man's faith is tested not by what he believes, but by what he does when he doubts.”
— Grappling with spiritual crises and difficult choices.
“The desert doesn't care if you're lost. It just waits.”
— Describing the unforgiving nature of the landscape and its indifference.
“Family is a knot that can never truly be untied, only stretched and strained.”
— Considering the enduring bonds and tensions within a large family.
“There's a kind of freedom in being completely broken, a realization that you have nothing left to lose.”
— Experiencing rock bottom and finding a strange sense of liberation.
“Hope is a dangerous thing, but it's all some of us have.”
— Clinging to the possibility of a better future despite overwhelming odds.
“Secrets are like heavy stones; the longer you carry them, the more they weigh you down.”
— Reflecting on the burden of hidden truths and their psychological impact.
“Sometimes the greatest acts of love are the ones that cause the most pain.”
— Making difficult sacrifices for the sake of loved ones.
“You can't outrun your past, not really. It always catches up.”
— Realizing the inescapable influence of past events and decisions.
“The quietest lives often hold the loudest stories.”
— Discovering the hidden depths and dramatic narratives within seemingly ordinary lives.
“Forgiveness isn't about forgetting; it's about letting go of the anger.”
— Struggling to come to terms with betrayal and hurt.
“There's a difference between being alone and being lonely, and sometimes the latter is a choice.”
— Contemplating the nature of solitude and self-imposed isolation.
“Every family has its own kind of wilderness, full of dangers and unexpected beauty.”
— Metaphorically describing the unpredictable and wild aspects of family dynamics.
Quiz
Test Your Knowledge
Ready to see how well you understood this book? Take our interactive quiz with 10 questions.
10
Questions
~5
Minutes
?
Best Score
Key Questions (FAQ)
Golden Richards, a polygamist with four wives and twenty-eight children, is experiencing a profound midlife crisis. He is grappling with the failure of his construction business, intense grief over the recent accidental death of a daughter and the stillbirth of a son, and a growing doubt in his own emotional capacity to handle it all.
About the author
Brady Udall is an American author known for his critically acclaimed novels. His debut, "The Miracle Life of Edgar Mint," was a finalist for the PEN/Faulkner Award for Fiction. "The Lonely Polygamist" was a "New York Times" Notable Book. Udall's work is celebrated for its unique voice and compelling storytelling.
