“I am not what I want to be, I am not what I expect to be, I am not what I think I am, but I am not what I used to be.”
— Reflecting on personal growth and spiritual progress.
Archivist's Choice
Stepping Heavenward
Elizabeth Payson Prentiss (1869)
Genre
Historical Fiction / Spirituality / Young Adult
Reading Time
450 min
Key Themes
See below
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Katherine's personal journal entries in 'Stepping Heavenward' tell the story of a young woman's journey through courtship, marriage, motherhood, and loss, as she seeks spiritual grace.
Synopsis
Sixteen-year-old Katherine, spirited and sometimes impulsive, starts a journal to record her faith and personal growth. She navigates young womanhood, from her early hopes and struggles with self-discipline to her courtship and engagement to Edward, a kind and devout man. Their early marriage includes the joys and challenges of starting a family, like the experience of motherhood and the heartbreak of losing a child. Through these difficulties, Katherine and Edward move to a new place, looking for new beginnings and deepening their spiritual commitment. Katherine's faith grows as she serves others and deals with parenting adult children, facing more personal losses that test her resilience. The story ends with the death of her husband, Edward. Katherine reflects on a life of faith, marked by sorrow and devotion, as she anticipates her own heavenly reward.
Reading time
450 min
Difficulty
Medium
Pacing
Slow
Mood
Reflective, Inspirational, Devotional, Melancholy
✓ Read this if...
You enjoy classic Christian fiction, stories told through journal entries, or narratives focusing on spiritual growth and the challenges of womanhood in the 19th century.
✗ Skip this if...
You prefer fast-paced plots, secular themes, or find introspective, faith-centric narratives less engaging.
Plot Summary
A Young Girl's Aspirations and Early Struggles
The story begins on January 1, 1831, with Katherine, a sixteen-year-old, starting her journal. She is a spirited, somewhat self-absorbed young woman who often feels misunderstood by her family, especially her mother. Katherine wants to be good and grow spiritually, but she often fails, struggling with her temper, vanity, and critical attitude. She writes about her attempts to fix these flaws, often feeling discouraged by her slow progress. Her entries show deep thought and a desire for a closer relationship with God, even as she deals with the usual challenges of adolescence, including social interactions and her own emotional ups and downs.
Courtship and Engagement
Katherine meets Edward, a devout and serious young man, and their relationship grows over time. Katherine is first drawn to his faith and good character, but she also struggles with feeling unworthy and tending to idealize him. Their courtship includes shared spiritual talks and Edward's gentle guidance. Despite her occasional doubts and fears about whether she is suitable to be the wife of such a good man, Katherine accepts Edward's marriage proposal. Her journal entries from this time show a mix of romantic happiness, deep self-reflection, and prayers for God's guidance in their union, as she prepares for a new part of her life.
Early Years of Marriage and Motherhood
Katherine and Edward marry, and Katherine soon finds that married life, while fulfilling, brings its own challenges. She struggles with managing a household and, soon after, with the demands of motherhood. The birth of her first child brings great joy but also tiredness and feelings of not being good enough. She often feels overwhelmed by her children's constant needs and endless home duties, leading to moments of irritation and spiritual dryness. Edward remains a supportive and patient husband, often encouraging her faith. Katherine's journal entries show her ongoing fight to keep her spiritual discipline amidst daily life.
Trials and Loss of a Child
Illness strikes Katherine's family, and she cares for her children through various sicknesses. This time is very hard, testing her patience and faith. Tragically, one of her children becomes very sick and dies. This loss causes Katherine deep grief and despair, challenging her understanding of God's love and control. Her journal entries become raw expressions of sorrow, questioning, and a desperate search for comfort. Through this immense suffering, she slowly begins to find comfort in her faith, holding onto the promise of heaven and the hope of reunion, though the pain stays with her.
Moving and New Beginnings
Edward's work leads to a decision to move to a new town. This move presents Katherine with another big change. She must leave familiar places and friends, and set up a new home and social circle. While initially scared, she tries to accept the change, seeing it as a chance for spiritual renewal and service. She actively tries to get involved in the new community and church, working to build connections and find purpose in her new surroundings. The move, though hard, offers a new outlook and a chance to use the spiritual lessons she has learned.
Spiritual Growth and Service
As Katherine gets older, her spiritual life deepens a lot. She commits more seriously to prayer, Bible study, and self-reflection. She also starts to serve more actively, both in her family and in her community, reaching out to those in need. These acts of selfless love and kindness give her a sense of purpose and satisfaction she had not found before. Her journal entries show growing humility, a greater understanding of God's grace, and a desire to live a life that truly honors Him, moving past her earlier self-centered struggles.
Parenting Adult Children and Further Trials
Katherine's children grow into adults, bringing new joys and worries. She experiences the bittersweet process of watching them make their own ways, marry, and have children. She continues to offer guidance and support, often praying earnestly for their spiritual well-being. This period also brings more trials, including illnesses, money worries, and the inevitable disappointments and heartaches that come with life. Katherine's faith is continually strengthened through these experiences, teaching her to rely more on God and to understand His plan better.
The Loss of Edward
The greatest sorrow of Katherine's later life is the death of her devoted husband, Edward. His passing leaves her heartbroken and very lonely. The entries after his death are full of deep loss, grief, and the struggle to imagine life without her constant companion and spiritual support. She deals with feelings of abandonment and the great emptiness his absence leaves. However, even in this deep sorrow, Katherine's faith, though tested, ultimately gives her strength and comfort, reminding her of the eternal hope and the reunion promised in heaven.
Reflections on a Life Lived in Faith
In her old age, Katherine looks back on her long life, full of both joys and sorrows. Her journal entries become more reflective, marked by a deep sense of peace and thankfulness. She sees how God has guided her through every stage, refining her character and drawing her closer to Him through all her experiences, especially her sufferings. She admits her past faults and expresses deep thanks for God's patience and grace. Her spiritual journey, which started with self-centered struggles, has ended in a life of humble devotion and unwavering trust in God's plan.
Approaching Heavenward
As her earthly life nears its end, Katherine's journal entries increasingly focus on her anticipation of heaven. She feels less attached to worldly concerns and deeply longs to be reunited with her loved ones who have died, especially Edward and her lost children. Her final entries show a quiet joy and a calm acceptance of death, seeing it not as an end, but as the ultimate 'stepping heavenward' — the completion of her lifelong spiritual journey. She expresses deep peace and unwavering faith in God's eternal love and promises, ready to enter her eternal rest.
Principal Figures
Katherine
The Protagonist
Katherine transforms from a self-centered, impulsive teenager into a humble, patient, and deeply spiritual woman through a lifetime of trials and God's refining grace.
Edward
The Supporting
Edward remains a consistent figure of spiritual strength and patience, offering unwavering support and guidance to Katherine throughout their shared life.
Katherine's Mother
The Supporting
Her relationship with Katherine evolves from one of misunderstanding and friction to one of eventual appreciation and understanding from Katherine's perspective.
Aunt Susan
The Supporting
Aunt Susan serves as a consistent, gentle spiritual mentor in Katherine's youth, offering guidance without judgment.
Children (collectively)
The Supporting
Their collective presence and individual fates drive Katherine's experiences of motherhood, joy, grief, and spiritual maturation.
Mr. and Mrs. Howard
The Mentioned
They remain static figures, serving as part of Katherine's social landscape and early observations.
Themes & Insights
Spiritual Growth and Sanctification
The book's main theme is Katherine's lifelong spiritual growth. From her early self-centered struggles as a teenager, she tries to overcome her faults (vanity, temper, pride) and get closer to God. This theme is shown through her constant self-reflection, prayer, and repentance, as she learns to rely on divine grace instead of her own efforts. Her experiences of joy, marriage, motherhood, and deep loss all help her spiritual refinement, teaching her humility, patience, and trust in God's control. The title 'Stepping Heavenward' directly shows this continuous upward striving.
“Oh, to be a Christian! to be like Christ! This is what I want.”
The Challenges of Domestic Life and Motherhood
The novel clearly shows the realities and difficulties of married life and motherhood in the 19th century. Katherine's journal entries detail the overwhelming demands of managing a household, raising children, and keeping spiritual discipline amidst constant home duties. She deals with tiredness, feelings of not being good enough, and the struggle to find time for personal devotion. This theme shows how the ordinary and often hard parts of family life can be a test for spiritual growth, making Katherine learn patience, self-sacrifice, and reliance on God's strength instead of her own.
“I find myself utterly worn out by night, and often cross and impatient from fatigue. How am I to keep up with my spiritual duties amidst all this?”
Grief, Loss, and Consolation
Loss is a repeated and strong theme, especially through the death of Katherine's child and later, her husband Edward. These events cause Katherine deep despair, challenging her faith and understanding of God's goodness. The book explores the raw, agonizing process of grief and the slow, often painful, journey towards finding comfort in Christian hope. Katherine's journal entries show her questioning, her struggle to accept God's will, and eventually, her discovery of deep comfort in the promise of heaven and reunion with loved ones, showing faith's power to sustain through great sorrow.
“My heart is broken... But I will trust in Him, who 'doeth all things well.'”
Self-Examination and Journaling as a Spiritual Discipline
The entire story structure is built on Katherine's journal entries, making self-reflection and journaling a central theme and plot device. Katherine uses her journal to think about herself, confess, pray, and track her spiritual progress. This practice helps her process her emotions, analyze her faults, record her spiritual insights, and document God's faithfulness throughout her life. The act of writing itself becomes a vital spiritual practice, encouraging self-awareness and responsibility, and providing a private place for her deepest thoughts and prayers.
“I will try to be more faithful in recording my feelings, and the workings of my heart. It helps me to know myself.”
The Nature of True Piety
Katherine's journey shows the change from a surface understanding of faith (focused on outward acts and self-improvement) to a deeper, more humble, and grace-centered faith. Initially, she tries to be good out of duty and a desire for approval, but through trials and self-awareness, she learns that true faith involves recognizing her own helplessness and relying completely on Christ's righteousness. This theme shows the change from legalism and self-effort to a faith of humility, gratitude, and a real love for God and others, seen in patience, service, and inner peace.
“It is not my goodness, but His grace. All my efforts are nothing without Him.”
Plot Devices & Literary Techniques
First-Person Journal Entries
The entire narrative is presented as Katherine's personal diary.
This is the primary plot device, as the entire story unfolds through Katherine's personal journal entries. This provides an intimate and subjective perspective into her thoughts, feelings, struggles, and spiritual growth. It allows the reader direct access to her inner world, making her journey deeply personal and relatable. The dated entries also provide a clear chronological progression of her life, from adolescence to old age, charting her development over decades. This device emphasizes themes of self-examination and the private nature of spiritual struggle and communion with God.
Chronological Life Arc
The story follows Katherine's life in linear order from youth to old age.
The narrative strictly adheres to a chronological progression, beginning with Katherine's sixteenth birthday and concluding with her anticipating death in old age. This linear structure allows the reader to witness Katherine's gradual maturation and spiritual development over decades. It emphasizes the long-term process of sanctification and how different life stages (courtship, marriage, motherhood, widowhood) bring unique challenges and lessons that contribute to her overall growth. The steady march of time highlights the enduring nature of faith through life's changing seasons.
Spiritual Reflections and Self-Examination
Katherine's frequent analysis of her own character and spiritual state.
Throughout her journal, Katherine constantly examines her own heart, motives, and actions against Christian ideals. This device is woven into nearly every entry, as she confesses her sins (pride, temper, vanity), prays for strength, and reflects on her spiritual progress or failures. This deep introspection is not merely descriptive but prescriptive, serving as a model for readers to engage in their own spiritual self-assessment. It drives the theme of sanctification, showing the internal battles and victories that characterize a life of faith.
Didactic Purpose
The narrative explicitly aims to teach moral and spiritual lessons.
While a fictional story, 'Stepping Heavenward' has a strong didactic purpose, aiming to instruct and inspire readers, particularly young women, in Christian living. Katherine's struggles and triumphs are presented as examples of common spiritual challenges and how faith can navigate them. The book often pauses for explicit moralizing or spiritual advice embedded within Katherine's reflections, making it clear that the narrative is intended to convey specific lessons about piety, patience, humility, and reliance on God. This device aligns with the genre of Christian inspirational literature.
Critical analysis
Notable Quotes
“It is sweet to know that we are not forgotten, even by those who have gone before us.”
— Musing on the connection with departed loved ones and the communion of saints.
“How many things we are forced to do in this life that we do not like, and how many things we like to do that we are not allowed to do!”
— Expressing frustration with daily duties and societal expectations.
“I often think it is a great pity that we cannot carry out our good resolutions.”
— Lamenting the difficulty in consistently living up to one's spiritual aspirations.
“I have been trying all my life to be good, and I have found it a very hard thing.”
— A candid admission of the struggle for moral and spiritual perfection.
“It seems to me that the only way to be happy is to make others happy.”
— Discovering the joy and fulfillment found in selfless service.
“What a strange thing it is, this human heart! How it clings to its idols, even when it knows they are but dust!”
— Observing the human tendency towards idolatry and attachment to worldly things.
“To be able to say, 'Thy will be done,' not only with the lips, but with the whole heart, is true religion.”
— Reflecting on the essence of submission to divine will.
“I think I shall be more useful in heaven than on earth.”
— A hopeful and somewhat weary contemplation of life after death.
“The greatest cross we have to bear is our own will.”
— Recognizing the internal battle against one's own desires and pride.
“It is not what we do, but what we are, that makes us truly happy.”
— Emphasizing character and being over achievements and doing.
“Every day brings its own burden, and every day brings its own strength.”
— A perspective on facing daily challenges with resilience and faith.
“There are some things in life that we can never understand, but we can always trust.”
— Grappling with life's mysteries and finding solace in faith.
“I have learned that it is better to be humble and obedient than to be wise in my own conceit.”
— A lesson learned through personal experience about the value of humility.
“How much better it is to have a little, and be content, than to have much, and be always striving for more.”
— Reflecting on the virtue of contentment versus endless desire.
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Key Questions (FAQ)
Stepping Heavenward is the fictional coming-of-age story of Katherine, a young Christian woman, told through her personal journal entries. It chronicles her life from age sixteen through courtship, marriage to Mr. Henderson, motherhood, and the numerous spiritual and domestic challenges she faces, ultimately depicting her journey towards deeper faith and sanctification amidst life's trials.
About the author
Biography coming soon.
