“I like to think I’m a good person, but I’m not. I’m a liar.”
— Amber's opening internal monologue, setting the tone for her unreliability.
Archivist's Choice
Sometimes I Lie
Alice Feeney (2017)
Genre
Thriller / Mystery
Reading Time
7 hr
Key Themes
See below
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Trapped in a coma, Amber Reynolds pieces together the chilling truth of her accident, only to discover her own memories might be the most dangerous lie of all.
Synopsis
Amber Reynolds wakes up in a hospital, paralyzed and in a coma, able to hear everything around her but unable to communicate. She has no memory of the accident but suspects her husband, Paul, is involved. The story alternates between her present, trapped state, the events of the week leading up to her accident, and entries from a childhood diary by a girl named A.R. from twenty years ago. As Amber recounts the week before, she shows a strained marriage, her affair with a colleague named Ben, and a confrontation with Paul about his own infidelity. Her best friend, Claire, visits her in the hospital, and Amber overhears conversations that deepen her suspicions about Paul. Clues from a nurse and details in the childhood diary begin to unravel a much darker truth. It is eventually revealed that 'Amber Reynolds' is not who she claims to be; she is Joanna, a woman obsessed with Amber Reynolds since childhood. Joanna orchestrated the 'accident' to frame Paul and steal Amber's life, driven by a psychological disturbance and a desire to escape her own past. The story ends with Joanna's confession and a final confrontation, leading to justice as the full extent of her manipulation and identity theft is exposed.
Reading time
7 hr
Difficulty
Medium
Pacing
Moderate
Mood
Suspenseful, Twisted, Claustrophobic, Deceptive
✓ Read this if...
You enjoy unreliable narrators, psychological twists that reframe the entire story, and a claustrophobic, intense reading experience.
✗ Skip this if...
You prefer straightforward thrillers without complex timelines or identity-bending reveals, or find stories about characters in comas too distressing.
Plot Summary
Awakening into Silence: Amber's Coma
Amber Reynolds wakes up in a hospital bed, paralyzed and in a coma. Though she cannot move her body, open her eyes, or communicate, her mind is fully active, allowing her to hear everything said around her. She quickly learns that her husband, Paul, is present and seems distant, expressing a lack of love for her. Her sister, Claire, also visits, showing more genuine concern. Amber pieces together fragmented memories and conversations, realizing she was in an 'accident' and suspects Paul's involvement. The story also introduces entries from a childhood diary, written by a girl named 'A.R.' twenty years prior, hinting at a troubled past and a close, perhaps obsessive, friendship with a girl named Jo.
The Week Before: Cracks in the Marriage
The story shifts to the week leading up to Amber's accident. She works as a radio presenter and feels a growing disconnect from Paul. She notices his secretive phone calls and late nights, which makes her suspect he is having an affair. She finds a receipt for an expensive watch and a hotel booking, confirming her fears. Amber confronts Paul, who denies everything, but his evasiveness only strengthens her resolve to uncover the truth. She also talks with her colleague, Ben, who offers a sympathetic ear, and her sister, Claire, who is a constant, if sometimes complicated, part of her life. The tension between Amber and Paul is clear, building towards a confrontation.
Childhood Shadows: The Diary of A.R.
Interspersed with Amber's present coma and recent past, the diary entries from 'A.R.' twenty years ago provide a disturbing look into her childhood. The entries detail a close, almost possessive, friendship with a girl named Jo. A.R. admires Jo but also feels deep jealousy and a need for control. The diary shows manipulative behaviors, petty cruelties, and a disturbing incident involving a cat, suggesting a pattern of psychological instability and a willingness to lie to get what she wants. These entries slowly begin to hint at a secret shared between A.R. and Jo, and the strong impact it had on their lives, shaping the person A.R. would become.
The Affair and the Confrontation
Amber's investigation into Paul's suspected affair leads her to discover that he is having a relationship with Joanna, a woman Amber considers a friend. This betrayal deeply wounds Amber. She confronts Paul, leading to a furious argument. Paul admits to the affair but tries to rationalize it, further angering Amber. The confrontation grows, showing the deep cracks in their marriage and the extent of Paul's deception. Amber feels a mix of anger, hurt, and a strange sense of vindication for having found the truth. This argument is a key moment, marking the breakdown of their relationship and setting the stage for the 'accident'.
The 'Accident' Revealed
Through her mental efforts in the coma, Amber slowly pieces together the events of the night of her accident. She remembers being in the car with Paul after their heated argument. Joanna was also present, having been picked up by Paul. The confrontation continued, escalating into a physical struggle inside the moving vehicle. Amber remembers a sudden swerve, the car crashing, and then overwhelming darkness. She specifically recalls Paul's hands, a struggle for the steering wheel, and Joanna's panicked screams. These fragmented memories solidify her suspicion that Paul was directly involved in causing the crash, whether intentionally or accidentally, during their fight.
Claire's Suspicions and Ben's Support
In the hospital, Claire grows increasingly suspicious of Paul's behavior and his account of the accident. She notices his coldness towards Amber and his attempts to control the narrative. Claire begins her own quiet investigation, seeking answers for her sister. Meanwhile, Ben, Amber's radio colleague, visits her frequently. He speaks to her, reads to her, and despite her comatose state, offers genuine comfort and a connection that Paul seems incapable of providing. Ben's presence becomes a source of unexpected comfort for Amber, and his interactions with her suggest a deeper care than just a professional relationship, making her question her past perceptions of him.
The Nurse's Clues and a Name
As Amber lies in her coma, she overhears a nurse, Holly, speaking about another patient, a woman named Joanna. Holly mentions that Joanna was also involved in the same car accident and is in a critical condition, having sustained severe head injuries. The nurse's remarks about Joanna's injuries and her presence in the car deeply unsettle Amber. This information, combined with the fragmented memories of the crash and the diary entries, triggers a sense of unease. Amber begins to connect the dots between her past and present, realizing the significance of Joanna's presence and the name 'Jo'.
The Twist: Amber is Joanna
In a shocking revelation, Amber realizes that she is not Amber Reynolds. The 'Amber' who is narrating the story from her comatose state is actually Joanna, the woman Paul was having an affair with. The real Amber Reynolds is the patient in the adjacent bed, also in a coma, having sustained the more severe injuries in the crash. 'Joanna' (the narrator) has been suffering from amnesia due to her own head trauma, causing her to believe she was Amber. Her memories of the past week and her life as Amber were fabricated by her damaged mind, conflating her identity with her rival's. The childhood diaries, she now understands, were Amber's, not hers, detailing Amber's toxic relationship with a girl named 'Jo' – the narrator herself.
The Full Truth: Amber's Obsession and Identity Theft
As the narrator, now fully aware she is Joanna, sifts through her fragmented memories and the implications of the diary, the full, disturbing truth emerges. The real Amber Reynolds, the author of the childhood diaries, was a disturbed and manipulative individual. The 'Jo' in the diaries was Joanna herself, Amber's childhood friend whom she obsessed over and abused. Amber orchestrated the crash, intending to kill Joanna and frame Paul. After the accident, Amber, who was less injured, swapped their identities, planting her own ID on Joanna (the narrator) and Joanna's ID on herself. She then pretended to be Joanna, while Joanna, with amnesia, believed she was Amber.
The Confession and the Confrontation
The real Amber Reynolds, who had been posing as Joanna in the hospital, reveals her true identity and motives to Paul. She confesses to orchestrating the crash, her long-standing obsession with Joanna, and her plan to frame Paul and eliminate Joanna. She explains how she swapped their identities after the crash, taking advantage of Joanna's amnesia. Paul is horrified by the revelation of his wife's psychological torment and her calculated malice. He realizes the extent of her manipulation and the danger they are all in. The confrontation is tense, as Amber, now fully unmasked, shows her chilling lack of remorse and continued control.
Justice and the Future
With the help of Ben, who had been a genuine friend and believed in her, Joanna manages to expose the real Amber Reynolds. Joanna communicates her true identity and the full story to Ben, who then alerts the authorities. The evidence, including the diaries and medical records, supports Joanna's account. Amber Reynolds is arrested for her crimes, including attempted murder and identity theft. Joanna begins a long and difficult path to physical and psychological recovery, finally free from Amber's manipulative shadow. She finds solace in Ben's unwavering support, facing an uncertain but hopeful future, finally able to reclaim her true identity and life.
Principal Figures
Amber Reynolds (The Narrator / Joanna)
The Protagonist
From a confused, amnesiac coma patient to uncovering her true identity and exposing her abuser, Joanna reclaims her sense of self.
Amber Reynolds (The Antagonist)
The Antagonist
Remains consistently manipulative and unrepentant, her true nature revealed as the ultimate villain.
Paul
The Supporting
From a seemingly villainous, unfaithful husband to a victim realizing the terrifying truth about his wife's manipulation.
Claire
The Supporting
Remains a constant, caring presence, her suspicions about Paul proving to be justified in a way she never expected.
Ben
The Supporting
From a supportive colleague to a crucial ally who helps the protagonist uncover the truth and seek justice.
Holly
The Mentioned
Serves as an unwitting informant, her role is primarily functional in advancing the plot.
Themes & Insights
Identity and Self-Deception
The novel explores the fluidity and fragility of identity, especially through the narrator's amnesia and the real Amber's identity theft. The central premise, 'Sometimes I lie,' directly relates to how truth and self-perception can be manipulated. The narrator believes she is Amber Reynolds, constructing a life and memories that are not her own, showing how easily one's sense of self can be shattered or fabricated. The real Amber's ability to seamlessly assume another's identity further blurs the lines, forcing both characters and readers to question what truly defines a person beyond their name and memories.
“My name is Amber Reynolds. There are three things you should know about me: 1. I’m in a coma. 2. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. 3. Sometimes I lie.”
Manipulation and Control
Manipulation is a core part of the narrative, primarily driven by the antagonist, the real Amber Reynolds. Her childhood diaries show a deep need to control and dominate, especially her friend Jo (the narrator). This manipulative tendency escalates into orchestrating a car crash, framing her husband, and stealing Joanna's identity. The entire plot depends on Amber's elaborate scheme to control the lives of those around her, forcing both Paul and Joanna into her twisted reality. The psychological games and calculated deceptions show the destructive power of unchecked manipulation.
“I can hear them all. They think I'm unconscious, but I'm not. I'm just trapped. And I know I'm not supposed to know that.”
The Nature of Truth and Lies
The book constantly challenges the reader's perception of truth, explicitly stated in the narrator's opening line, 'Sometimes I lie.' The unreliable narration, especially due to the narrator's amnesia and the antagonist's deception, forces readers to question every piece of information presented. What seems true in one chapter is revealed as a lie in another. The narrative structure, with its alternating timelines, slowly reveals layers of deception, demonstrating how personal truths can be subjective, distorted, or entirely fabricated, and how belief can be more powerful than fact.
“Is something really a lie if you believe it's the truth?”
Obsession and Betrayal
Obsession drives the antagonist's actions, stemming from her childhood fixation on Joanna. This unhealthy attachment turns into a destructive desire to possess and control Joanna, leading to extreme acts of violence and identity theft. Betrayal is also a pervasive theme: Paul betrays Amber with Joanna, but Amber's betrayal of both Paul and Joanna is far more profound and insidious. The unraveling of these betrayals forms the core of the mystery, revealing the deep emotional wounds and psychological damage inflicted by those closest to us.
“I wanted to be her. I wanted to be Jo. But if I couldn't be her, I would make her disappear.”
Plot Devices & Literary Techniques
Unreliable Narrator
The protagonist's narration is revealed to be based on false memories, leading to a major twist.
The entire narrative is filtered through the consciousness of a comatose woman who believes she is Amber Reynolds. Her amnesia and the manipulation by the real Amber mean that her perspective, memories, and understanding of events are fundamentally flawed. This device creates immense suspense and allows for the shocking twist where the narrator discovers her true identity as Joanna, completely overturning the reader's understanding of the plot and characters up to that point. It expertly plays with the reader's trust, reinforcing the book's central theme of truth and lies.
Dual Timeline/Interweaving Narratives
The story alternates between the present (coma), the recent past (week before the accident), and childhood diary entries.
The novel uses three distinct timelines: the present, where 'Amber' is in a coma; the week leading up to the accident, providing context for her marriage and suspicions; and childhood diary entries from 'A.R.' twenty years ago. This structure slowly reveals crucial information, with each timeline offering fragmented clues that eventually converge to expose the truth. The diary entries, in particular, are vital for understanding the antagonist's motivations and the long-standing nature of her obsession, while the alternating perspectives build suspense and allow for the gradual unveiling of deception.
Amnesia
The protagonist's memory loss due to trauma is central to the identity twist.
Amnesia is a key plot device that enables the central twist of the story. The narrator, Joanna, suffers from memory loss after the car accident, allowing the real Amber Reynolds to manipulate her into believing she is Amber. This amnesia makes the unreliable narration possible and keeps the reader unaware of the narrator's true identity until the shocking reveal. It highlights the vulnerability of personal identity when memories are lost and how easily one can be convinced of a false reality, especially under duress and manipulation.
Foreboding and Red Herrings
Subtle clues and misdirections keep the reader guessing about the true villain and events.
Feeney expertly uses foreboding and numerous red herrings to mislead the reader. Paul is initially presented as the most likely villain, with his affair and distant behavior, diverting suspicion from the real antagonist. Subtle clues, such as the nurse mentioning 'Joanna' and the specific details in the childhood diaries, are planted throughout the narrative but are often misinterpreted or their significance is overlooked until the final reveal. This technique creates a constant sense of unease and ensures the reader is actively trying to solve the mystery, only to be surprised by the ultimate twist.
Critical analysis
Notable Quotes
“The truth is like a ghost; you can only see it if you believe in it.”
— Amber's reflection on the subjective nature of truth.
“Sometimes I lie. It’s not always intentional, but it happens. And sometimes, I don’t even know I’m doing it.”
— A core admission from Amber about her unreliable memory and narrative.
“Sleeping is just practicing being dead.”
— Amber's dark and cynical thought about sleep while in her coma.
“You can never truly know someone, not even yourself.”
— A philosophical observation about human nature and hidden depths.
“We all have secrets. Some are just better hidden than others.”
— General observation about the universal nature of secrets.
“Memory is a funny thing. It plays tricks on you. It can be a comfort, or a curse.”
— Amber contemplating the unreliable and often painful nature of her own memories.
“What if the person you thought you knew best was just a stranger with a familiar face?”
— A chilling thought about the potential for betrayal or hidden identities.
“Happiness is a choice. And sometimes, it’s a lie you tell yourself until it becomes true.”
— Amber's perspective on constructing one's own reality.
“The past is never really gone. It just waits for you to remember it.”
— Highlighting the lingering impact of past events on the present.
“Love isn't always enough. Sometimes, it's the very thing that breaks you.”
— A poignant reflection on the destructive potential of love and relationships.
“It’s amazing how much you can hide in plain sight if people aren’t looking for it.”
— A comment on the ease of deception when others are unsuspecting.
“Every secret has a shelf life.”
— A subtle foreshadowing that all hidden truths will eventually come to light.
“The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves.”
— A deep introspection on the nature of self-deception and its impact.
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Key Questions (FAQ)
'Sometimes I Lie' by Alice Feeney is a psychological thriller told from the perspective of Amber Reynolds, a woman in a coma who can hear everything around her but cannot communicate. As she tries to piece together what happened, the narrative alternates between her present hospital stay, the events leading up to her accident a week prior, and revealing diary entries from her childhood.
About the author
Alice Feeney is a New York Times bestselling author known for her gripping psychological thrillers. Her debut novel, 'Sometimes I Lie,' was a global phenomenon, captivating readers with its intricate plots and unreliable narrators. Feeney's work often explores dark themes and unexpected twists, solidifying her reputation as a master of suspense.
