“I think I've been in love with you since I was ten years old.”
— Lara Jean's internal thoughts about Peter Kavinsky.

Jenny Han (2006)
Genre
Children's / Young Adult / Romance
Reading Time
250 min
Key Themes
See below
Sign in to track this book
Twelve-year-old Annemarie "Shug" Wilcox navigates the awkwardness of junior high, wishing for simpler times as her friendships, and her feelings for a certain boy, evolve.
Twelve-year-old Annemarie Wilcox, called Shug, spends the summer before seventh grade feeling behind her friends. Her best friend, Elaine, is developing and attracting boys, while Shug feels gangly and unfeminine. Shug has a secret crush on Mark, her childhood friend and neighbor, but he seems more interested in Elaine. Their usual summer activities, like swimming, now include new social dynamics, making Shug aware of her perceived flaws and the changing nature of her friendships.
Junior high starts, and Shug struggles to fit in. She is not part of the popular crowd, and her friendship with Elaine strains as Elaine moves towards the 'in' girls. Shug feels alone, watching social rituals from the outside. Her crush on Mark grows, but he remains unaware, often teasing her in a way that feels more hurtful than playful. The school environment highlights her insecurities about her appearance and her inability to connect with her peers as she wants, leading to feelings of loneliness.
The first school dance is important, and Shug, despite her worries, hopes for a moment with Mark. She goes with Elaine and their other friend, Audrey. Shug tries to get Mark's attention, but he spends most of the evening dancing with Elaine or other popular girls. Shug feels overlooked and embarrassed, confirming her fears that she is not attractive or interesting enough for him. The dance becomes a painful reminder of her unreturned feelings and her struggle to navigate junior high social life, leaving her disheartened.
As the school year goes on, Elaine becomes more involved with the popular group, further separating herself from Shug. Elaine starts to prioritize her new friends and social status over her long friendship with Shug, often making Shug feel left out. This change hurts Shug deeply, as Elaine was her closest friend. Shug struggles to understand why their friendship is changing so much and feels a great sense of loss during this transitional period.
At home, Shug sees growing tension between her parents, who argue often. Her older sister, Penny, is busy with her own teenage problems, usually involving boys, and offers little emotional support to Shug. Shug feels caught in the middle, trying to understand adult complexities while dealing with her own adolescent struggles. The instability at home adds more worry to Shug's life, making her long for a sense of normalcy that seems out of reach.
Mark, her lifelong friend, continues to tease Shug, often commenting on her appearance or lack of romantic attention. While he likely means it playfully, Shug takes it as proof of her deepest insecurities. His words sting, especially because she has strong feelings for him. Each interaction leaves her feeling more self-conscious and misunderstood, creating a barrier between them even as she wants his affection. This shows the emotional vulnerability of young adolescence and the pain of unreturned love.
Feeling more and more alone from her friends and family, Shug often goes into her own world, finding comfort in books and quiet thought. She reads in her room, escaping into stories that offer a temporary break from her real-life problems. This time alone lets her process her emotions, even if she does not always find clear answers. Her solitude becomes a way to manage the changes of junior high and her relationships without constant judgment.
At one point, a boy named Gary shows some interest in Shug. This unexpected attention offers a brief moment of hope and validation, making her feel seen in a way Mark never has. While the connection is small and does not fully develop, it gives Shug a moment of feeling wanted and normal. It is a small but important step in her self-discovery, showing her that her worth is not only tied to Mark's approval and that other boys might find her appealing.
Frustrated and hurt by Elaine's growing distance, Shug finally gathers the courage to confront her best friend. The talk is difficult and emotional, as Shug expresses her feelings of being abandoned. Elaine, caught up in her new social circle, struggles to fully understand Shug's view. While the conversation does not immediately solve all their problems, it is a key step for Shug in expressing her feelings and acknowledging the pain caused by their changing friendship, showing her ability to stand up for herself.
Towards the end of the school year, Mark's behavior towards Shug begins to change. He starts to notice her differently, perhaps seeing beyond their childhood dynamic. There are times when his teasing softens, and he shows glimpses of genuine care. While not a clear declaration of love, these subtle changes suggest a budding awareness on his part, hinting at the possibility of their relationship evolving beyond just childhood friends. This shift gives Shug a renewed sense of hope.
In one scene, Shug and Mark have a conversation where he acknowledges her feelings, or at least shows a deeper understanding. They share a moment of true connection, perhaps a shared laugh or a serious talk, that goes beyond their usual teasing. This interaction is important for Shug, as it suggests that Mark might finally see her as more than his childhood friend, offering a glimmer of hope for a future romantic connection and confirming her long-held feelings for him.
By the end of the book, Shug has not magically become popular or perfectly confident, but she has made progress in accepting herself. She starts to understand that growing up is messy and that it is okay to feel awkward. She learns that friendships change, and that her worth is not based on external validation. While her feelings for Mark remain, she gains a more mature view on relationships and self-worth, beginning to accept her unique qualities instead of constantly comparing herself to others. She finds a new sense of strength and self-acceptance.
The Protagonist
Shug learns to accept her imperfections and finds her voice, moving from self-doubt to a nascent sense of self-worth and resilience.
The Supporting/Love Interest
Mark slowly moves from childhood obliviousness to a nascent awareness of Shug as more than just a friend, hinting at a future romantic interest.
The Supporting
Elaine prioritizes popularity over her long-standing friendship with Shug, causing a rift but potentially realizing the cost of her choices.
The Supporting
Audrey remains a steady, if understated, presence, representing the quieter, more enduring aspects of friendship.
The Supporting
Penny remains largely self-involved, serving as a contrast to Shug's more introspective journey through adolescence.
The Supporting
Her arc is primarily in the background, reflecting the impact of adult relationships on adolescent development.
The Supporting
His arc is largely static, serving as a source of domestic tension that influences Shug's emotional state.
The Mentioned
Gary's brief appearance offers Shug a moment of external validation, contributing to her budding self-esteem.
The novel shows the physical and emotional discomfort of being twelve. Shug often feels too tall, too freckled, and too flat, comparing herself to friends like Elaine. Her self-consciousness about her changing body and perceived lack of femininity drives much of her insecurity. Scenes like the school dance, where she feels invisible, highlight the awareness and worry that come with puberty and new social expectations.
“There's nothing worse than being twelve. You're too old for some things and too young for others. You're not quite a girl, not quite a woman.”
A main theme is the changing nature of friendships in junior high. Shug experiences the painful process of her best friend, Elaine, moving away to join the popular crowd. This creates feelings of abandonment and loneliness for Shug, as she struggles to understand why their bond is no longer enough. The novel explores the unspoken rules of junior high social groups, where popularity can dictate who you interact with, forcing Shug to face the impermanence of childhood bonds.
“It was like we were on different planets now, Elaine and me. She was on the popular one, and I was on the one where nobody knew your name.”
Shug's intense, secret crush on Mark, her childhood friend, is the emotional center of the novel. Her desire for his attention drives many of her actions and internal conflicts. The pain of his unawareness, his teasing, and his interest in other girls is a constant source of heartache for Shug. The story explores the vulnerability and hope of first love, and the often-painful realization that feelings are not always returned, but also the eventual possibility of change.
“He was like a song I knew by heart, but I was just a quiet hum he'd never really noticed.”
Throughout the story, Shug deals with her self-worth, constantly comparing herself to others and feeling inadequate. Her journey is about learning to accept her unique qualities instead of trying to fit in. By the end, Shug begins to find her voice, standing up for herself and understanding that her value is not dependent on outside approval. This theme highlights the importance of inner strength and self-love in facing the challenges of growing up.
“Maybe being me was enough. Maybe it was even better.”
Shug's thoughts and feelings are directly shared with the reader, providing deep insight into her struggles.
The novel is heavily reliant on Shug's internal monologue, allowing readers direct access to her anxieties, observations, and desires. This device effectively conveys the intense self-consciousness and emotional turmoil of adolescence. We experience her every doubt about her appearance, her longing for Mark, and her hurt over changing friendships firsthand, making her struggles relatable and immediate. It builds empathy by immersing the reader in her perspective, making her journey of self-discovery more impactful.
Shug's physical traits (height, freckles, lack of development) symbolize her feelings of inadequacy and being 'out of sync'.
Shug's constant focus on her physical traits – her height, her freckles, and her perceived lack of feminine development – serves as a potent symbol for her overall feelings of inadequacy and being out of place. These physical attributes aren't just superficial details; they represent her internal belief that she is not pretty enough, not mature enough, or not 'normal' enough to be liked or loved. Her journey towards self-acceptance is tied to her slowly letting go of these physical hang-ups.
The stark differences between Shug's past and present highlight the abrupt and often painful transition into junior high.
The narrative frequently draws a contrast between Shug's idyllic childhood memories with Mark and Elaine and the challenging reality of their junior high years. The 'good old days' represent a time of simple, unconditional friendships and innocence, while the present is marked by social hierarchies, self-consciousness, and complex emotions. This contrast emphasizes the abrupt and often painful nature of growing up, where familiar comforts are stripped away, and new, unsettling challenges emerge, making Shug yearn for what once was.
“I think I've been in love with you since I was ten years old.”
— Lara Jean's internal thoughts about Peter Kavinsky.
“I like you, Lara Jean. I do. I just... I don't think I can be what you want me to be.”
— Peter Kavinsky expressing his feelings and doubts to Lara Jean.
“It's so much easier to be honest with people when you're not in love with them.”
— Lara Jean reflecting on the difficulty of being truthful when feelings are involved.
“You don't just stop loving someone. You just learn to live without them.”
— Kitty's mature observation about moving on from a relationship.
“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”
— Lara Jean's realization about the quality of relationships.
“My letters are for my eyes only. They are not meant to be shared.”
— Lara Jean explaining the private nature of her love letters.
“It's not a lie if you believe it.”
— Lara Jean's justification for her actions early in the story.
“When you lose someone, it's like a part of you goes missing. You can still function, but you're never quite whole again.”
— Lara Jean's feelings about the loss of her mother.
“The greatest danger in life is not taking risks. It's playing it safe.”
— Peter Kavinsky encouraging Lara Jean to be more adventurous.
“Being sisters means you always have a backup.”
— Margot's comforting words to her younger sisters.
“I don't want to be the girl who never gets to experience anything because she's too afraid.”
— Lara Jean's internal monologue about overcoming her fears.
“Sometimes you have to break a few rules to find your happy ending.”
— Lara Jean's reflection on the unconventional path her life has taken.
“I want to be the kind of girl who gets to have adventures.”
— Lara Jean's desire for a more exciting and fulfilling life.
“It's like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
— Lara Jean's anxiety about things being too good to be true.
Ready to see how well you understood this book? Take our interactive quiz with 10 questions.

Dan Gemeinhart
4.5

Kate O'Hearn
4.4

Jeanne Birdsall
4.4

Jen Wang
4.4

Wendelin Van Draanen
4.3

John Marsden
4.3

Chris Van Allsburg
4.3

Jennifer A. Nielsen
4.2