“The hardest part about having a mom with cancer is that you can’t tell anyone. Because if you do, then it’s real.”
— Ruby reflects on the secrecy surrounding her mother's illness.
Archivist's Choice
One of Those Hideous Books Where the Mother Dies
Sonya Sones (2004)
Genre
Young Adult
Reading Time
240 min
Key Themes
See below
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Fifteen-year-old Ruby navigates grief, a cross-country move, and a forced reunion with her absentee, movie-star father after her mother's sudden death.
Synopsis
Fifteen-year-old Ruby Milliken's world shatters when her mother dies, forcing her to leave her boyfriend, Ray, and their life in Boston. She moves to Los Angeles to live with her estranged father, a famous actor she's never met and resents for abandoning her and her mother. Struggling with grief, anger, and a longing for her old life, Ruby navigates a new school where she feels like an outsider, despite her father's celebrity. She tries to form new connections while maintaining her long-distance relationship with Ray, which begins to strain. As Ruby explores her artistic talents and builds unexpected friendships, she uncovers secrets about her parents' past divorce. This challenges her ideas about her father and the life she knew. Ultimately, Ruby begins to find a new sense of belonging and identity in L.A., learning to live with her grief and changing family.
Reading time
240 min
Difficulty
Easy
Pacing
Moderate
Mood
Emotional, Reflective, Poignant, Hopeful
✓ Read this if...
You enjoy poignant, character-driven YA novels about grief, family reconciliation, and finding your voice through art, written in verse.
✗ Skip this if...
You prefer fast-paced plots with high stakes or shy away from stories heavily focused on emotional processing and family drama.
Plot Summary
The Unspeakable Tragedy
Fifteen-year-old Ruby Milliken's life in Boston changes when her mother, Nora, dies suddenly from a brain aneurysm. Ruby is overwhelmed with grief. Her only comfort is her boyfriend, Ray. However, this tragedy also brings an unwelcome change: Ruby learns her estranged father, a famous Hollywood actor named Peter Robert, is her legal guardian. This means she must leave everything familiar and move across the country to live with a man she has never met and resents.
Forced Relocation to La-La Land
Despite her protests, Ruby leaves Boston and Ray, flying to Los Angeles to live with Peter Robert. Her first impressions of L.A. are negative; she finds it superficial and isolating. Her new home is a mansion in the Hollywood Hills, very different from her life in Boston. Peter Robert tries to be welcoming, but he is a stranger to Ruby, and their interactions are tense. Ruby feels betrayed and abandoned, struggling to accept the famous actor as the absent father who never contacted her.
A New School and Unwanted Attention
Ruby enrolls at Pacific Palisades High School, where her father's celebrity makes her an object of curiosity. She struggles to fit in among the wealthy, image-conscious students. Her only comfort comes from her calls with Ray. However, she soon meets Chloe, an artistic girl who isn't impressed by fame and genuinely tries to befriend Ruby. Chloe's down-to-earth nature and shared love for indie music begin to ease Ruby's isolation, offering her a connection in her new environment.
The First Glimmers of Connection
Despite her dislike, Ruby has a small, unexpected moment with Peter. One evening, she finds him watching an old movie starring her mother. Seeing her mother on screen, young, triggers grief in Ruby, and Peter comforts her. This shared moment of loss, though brief, allows Ruby to see a different side of her father—not just the famous actor or absent parent, but a man who also grieved for Nora. It is a fragile step towards understanding, hinting at a deeper relationship.
Ray's Visit and Growing Distance
Ray visits Ruby in Los Angeles, a trip she had looked forward to. However, the reunion is not as comforting as she hoped. The distance, both geographical and emotional, becomes clear. Ruby has changed, and Ray struggles to understand her new life and her complex feelings towards Peter. While she still loves him, Ruby finds herself drawn to new experiences and people in L.A., including Peter's assistant, Mark. The visit highlights the challenges of their long-distance relationship and Ruby's changing sense of self.
A Budding Friendship and Artistic Expression
Ruby's friendship with Chloe deepens, and Chloe encourages Ruby to explore her artistic side through photography. Ruby, who previously used her camera only to document her life with Ray, begins to use it to capture her new surroundings and complex emotions. This creative outlet helps her cope with grief and confusion. Through her lens, Ruby starts to see the beauty and unique aspects of L.A., and her photography helps her process her experiences and find her own voice amidst the chaos of her new life.
Peter's Past and Ruby's Discovery
Driven by curiosity, Ruby starts to investigate her parents' relationship. She finds old photos and letters, piecing together a more complete picture of her parents' brief marriage and divorce. She learns that her mother had been a struggling actress and that Peter had faced his own challenges before becoming famous. This discovery helps Ruby see her father as a person, realizing that his absence was due to a complex mix of circumstances and his own youthful mistakes. It begins to soften her resentment.
The Truth About the Divorce
Ruby finally confronts Peter about his past and her mother. He reveals the truth: Nora had left him, not the other way around, because she felt she was holding him back from his career and didn't want to raise a child in their unstable early lives. He confesses his regret and the pain he felt over losing Nora and being separated from Ruby. This conversation changes Ruby's long-held view of her father, replacing it with a more complex understanding of sacrifice, love, and the difficult choices her parents made.
New Connections and Shifting Priorities
As Ruby spends more time in L.A., she finds herself drawn to Mark, Peter's kind assistant. Their shared interests and easy friendship develop into a budding romance, making Ruby realize that her feelings for Ray have shifted. The distance and the changes she's undergone have created an emotional gap that seems too wide to bridge. This new connection with Mark shows Ruby's growing independence and her willingness to embrace new experiences and relationships, moving forward from her past.
A New Beginning, Not an Ending
By the end of the book, Ruby has come to terms with her mother's death. She has formed a genuine connection with Peter, understanding him not as a perfect father, but as a flawed person who loves her. She has found true friendship with Chloe and a new love with Mark. Ruby realizes that moving to L.A. and facing her father was an unexpected path to self-discovery and healing. She embraces her new identity, recognizing that while her mother's death was terrible, her own story is far from over.
Principal Figures
Ruby Milliken
The Protagonist
Ruby transforms from a resentful, grieving girl into a more self-aware, independent young woman who learns to forgive, accept change, and forge new connections.
Peter Robert
The Supporting
Peter moves from a distant, regretful father to one who actively tries to build a relationship with Ruby, sharing his vulnerabilities and earning her understanding.
Nora Milliken
The Mentioned
Though deceased, Nora's character arc is reflected in Ruby's evolving understanding of her, from an idealized figure to a more complex woman who made difficult choices.
Ray
The Supporting
Ray remains consistent in his devotion but eventually becomes a representation of Ruby's past as she outgrows their relationship.
Chloe
The Supporting
Chloe helps Ruby integrate into her new environment and explore her creativity, becoming a vital part of Ruby's support system.
Mark
The Supporting
Mark evolves from a supportive background figure to a significant romantic interest for Ruby, representing her new connections.
Themes & Insights
Grief and Loss
The main theme is Ruby's struggle with her mother's sudden death. The story explores the different stages of grief, from shock and denial to anger, sadness, and eventual acceptance. Ruby's feelings appear as resentment towards her father, isolation, and a desperate clinging to her past life. Her photography, first a way to preserve memories of her mother, later helps her process her current feelings and move forward. The book acknowledges that grief is not linear and that healing involves integrating loss into a new identity, as Ruby finds joy in L.A. while still remembering Nora.
“One of those hideous books where the mother dies.”
Identity and Self-Discovery
Ruby's forced move to L.A. removes her established identity, making her confront who she is without her mother and Ray as her main supports. In Boston, she was 'Nora's daughter' and 'Ray's girlfriend.' In L.A., she is 'Peter Robert's daughter,' a role she initially dislikes. Her journey involves shedding old ideas about herself and her family, especially her father. Through new friendships, artistic expression (photography), and confronting her past, Ruby begins to define herself on her own terms, separate from her previous relationships and her father's fame. This is clear in her changing feelings for Ray and her new connection with Mark.
“Maybe I'm not the same Ruby I was in Boston.”
Family and Forgiveness
Family is a central theme, focusing on estranged relationships and the journey towards forgiveness. Ruby feels deep anger towards her father for his perceived abandonment. The story slowly reveals the reasons behind Peter's absence and her parents' divorce, showing a more complex truth than Ruby first understood. This discovery allows Ruby to see Peter not just as a bad person, but as a flawed human who made difficult choices and regrets his past. Ultimately, the story is about Ruby learning to forgive her father and, in doing so, opening herself to a new family bond.
“He wasn't the scumbag I'd always painted him to be. He was just a guy who'd made some mistakes.”
The Illusion of Fame vs. Reality
The book explores the contrast between Hollywood's glamorous facade and the real lives of the people behind it. Ruby first sees her father through his celebrity, an untouchable figure who chose fame over family. Her move to L.A. exposes her to the superficiality and pressures of the entertainment industry, but also reveals the human struggles beneath the glitter. She sees her father's vulnerabilities and the challenges he faced, realizing that his public image doesn't fully capture his private reality. This theme shows how fame can distort perceptions and create emotional distance.
“Everyone loves my father. Everyone but me.”
Plot Devices & Literary Techniques
First-Person Narrative (Ruby's Voice)
The entire story is told through Ruby's immediate, unfiltered perspective.
The novel is written entirely in Ruby's first-person voice, often in a stream-of-consciousness style reminiscent of a diary or internal monologue. This device allows readers direct access to Ruby's raw emotions, sarcastic wit, and evolving thoughts as she navigates grief and change. Her voice is authentic, full of teenage angst, humor, and vulnerability, making her journey deeply personal and relatable. The use of her internal monologue also emphasizes her initial isolation and her gradual opening up to new experiences and people.
Photography as a Metaphor and Coping Mechanism
Ruby's camera helps her process emotions and perceive her new world.
Photography serves as both a literal activity for Ruby and a powerful metaphor throughout the book. Initially, her camera is a tool to capture and hold onto her past life in Boston, especially memories of her mother and Ray. As she adjusts to L.A., Chloe encourages her to use photography to observe and interpret her new surroundings. This process forces Ruby to look beyond her initial judgments and find beauty or meaning in the unfamiliar. It becomes a coping mechanism for her grief and a way for her to frame her new reality, symbolizing her shifting perspective and emerging artistic identity.
Long-Distance Relationship (Ray)
Ray represents Ruby's past and the difficulty of maintaining old ties amidst new growth.
Ruby's long-distance relationship with Ray acts as a constant tether to her old life in Boston. Initially, these calls and his eventual visit are her lifeline, representing comfort and familiarity. However, as Ruby begins to adapt to L.A. and change internally, the distance highlights the growing chasm between them. Ray's inability to fully understand her new experiences and emotions underscores Ruby's evolution, making the long-distance relationship a symbol of her past and the inevitable process of outgrowing certain connections as she moves forward.
Critical analysis
Notable Quotes
“Sometimes I think I'm the only person in the world who knows how to be sad.”
— Ruby feels isolated in her grief.
“It’s funny how you can live with someone your whole life and not really know them until they’re gone.”
— Ruby contemplates her mother's life after her death.
“I used to think that the worst thing that could happen was losing someone you love. Now I know the worst thing is losing yourself.”
— Ruby struggles with her identity after her mother's death.
“Maybe love isn’t about being perfect. Maybe it’s about being there.”
— Ruby reflects on the nature of love and support.
“The world keeps going, even when yours stops.”
— Ruby observes the indifference of the world to her personal tragedy.
“I wish I could freeze time, just for a little while, so I could remember everything.”
— Ruby yearns to hold onto memories of her mother.
“It’s like I’m living in a movie, and I’m just waiting for the happy ending that’s never going to come.”
— Ruby's despair regarding her future.
“You can’t just pretend things aren’t happening. Eventually, they catch up to you.”
— Ruby acknowledges the futility of denial.
“Grief is a funny thing. It comes in waves. Sometimes it’s a ripple, sometimes it’s a tsunami.”
— Ruby describes the unpredictable nature of grief.
“I guess that’s what growing up is, isn’t it? Realizing that not everything has a happy ending.”
— Ruby's somber realization about adulthood.
“Sometimes you have to break down to build yourself back up.”
— Ruby considers the process of healing and recovery.
“It's hard to breathe when your heart feels like it's been ripped out.”
— Ruby expresses the physical sensation of profound sadness.
“Maybe it’s okay to not be okay. Maybe that’s part of it.”
— Ruby finds a measure of acceptance in her struggle.
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Key Questions (FAQ)
Ruby's central conflict stems from the sudden death of her mother, which forces her to move from Boston to Los Angeles. This move not only separates her from her boyfriend, Ray, but also thrusts her into the unfamiliar world of living with her estranged, famous actor father, whom she resents for his absence throughout her life.
About the author
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