““Love isn't something you find. Love is something you build.””
— Early in the story, a character reflects on the nature of relationships.
Archivist's Choice
Look Both Ways
Alison Cherry (2016)
Genre
Young Adult / Romance
Reading Time
6 hours 30 min
Key Themes
See below
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A summer theater program becomes a place for self-discovery as Brooklyn Shepard navigates new love with her roommate Zoe, challenging her identity as an artist and her understanding of family expectations.
Synopsis
Brooklyn Shepard, a talented aspiring actress from a family of famous performers, arrives at the Allerdale Playhouse for a summer program, hoping to forge her own identity away from her family's shadow. She quickly befriends her roommate, Zoe, and their connection deepens into romantic feelings, causing Brooklyn to question her previously unchallenged heterosexuality. As she navigates her new relationship with Zoe, Brooklyn also faces artistic challenges and the pressure of her family's expectations, particularly during a visit from her mother. The arrival of Noah, another apprentice who expresses interest in Brooklyn, further complicates her emotions, forcing her to confront her true feelings and desires. Ultimately, Brooklyn embraces her sexuality and her authentic self, delivering a strong performance at the showcase and looking towards a future where she can be both an artist and true to her heart.
Reading time
6 hours 30 min
Difficulty
Easy
Pacing
Moderate
Mood
Heartwarming, Reflective, Romantic, Sweet
✓ Read this if...
You enjoy LGBTQ+ coming-of-age stories about self-discovery, first love, and artistic ambition, especially in a summer camp or theater setting.
✗ Skip this if...
You prefer plots with high stakes, complex mysteries, or a fast-paced, action-driven narrative.
Plot Summary
Arrival at Allerdale Playhouse
Brooklyn Shepard, the daughter of famous Broadway performers, arrives at the Allerdale Playhouse for a summer acting program. She wants to escape her family's shadow and prove her own talent, away from the constant comparisons and expectations. She is assigned a roommate, Zoe, a free-spirited and confident girl who immediately makes an impression on Brooklyn. Their initial interactions are friendly, with Zoe's easygoing nature contrasting with Brooklyn's more reserved demeanor. Brooklyn feels a sense of freedom she's never experienced before, excited by the prospect of a summer focused solely on her passion for theater and self-discovery, without the pressure of her family's legacy.
Early Friendships and Artistic Challenges
Brooklyn quickly forms a bond with Zoe, finding her easy to talk to and share secrets with. They also become friendly with other apprentices, including the charming Noah, and the more serious Liam. The program is rigorous, with intense acting classes, rehearsals, and technical work. Brooklyn struggles initially with some of the exercises, feeling pressure to excel, especially in improvisation, which doesn't come naturally to her. She observes Zoe's natural talent and confidence on stage, often feeling envy but also admiration for her roommate's uninhibited approach to acting. This period includes both the excitement of new connections and the anxieties of artistic performance.
Growing Feelings for Zoe
As the summer progresses, Brooklyn's friendship with Zoe deepens. They spend most of their free time together, sharing meals, late-night conversations, and exploring the small town. Brooklyn finds herself increasingly drawn to Zoe's energy, quick wit, and genuine warmth. She starts to notice Zoe in a different light, feeling a flutter when Zoe touches her arm or looks at her intently. These new, unfamiliar feelings confuse Brooklyn, who has only ever considered herself attracted to boys. She tries to rationalize them as intense friendship, but the pull towards Zoe becomes undeniable, creating internal conflict and a sense of wonder.
First Kiss and Confusion
One evening, after a particularly intense rehearsal and a late-night chat in their room, the unspoken tension between Brooklyn and Zoe leads to a kiss. It is unexpected, passionate, and leaves Brooklyn breathless. The kiss is everything she didn't know she wanted, confirming the depth of her feelings for Zoe. However, immediately after, confusion and fear wash over her. She questions what this means for her identity, her future, and her understanding of herself. The experience is exhilarating and terrifying, forcing Brooklyn to confront her assumptions about her sexuality and her place in the world, far from her family.
Navigating New Territory
Following the kiss, Brooklyn and Zoe's relationship enters a new, complex phase. They continue to spend time together, but there is an unspoken tension and a delicate dance around their newfound intimacy. Brooklyn struggles internally with accepting her feelings for Zoe, wondering if this is just a phase or a genuine shift in her identity. She confides in Zoe about her confusion, and Zoe, while understanding, also expresses her own clear feelings and desire for a deeper relationship. Brooklyn feels pressure to define herself and her feelings, fearing judgment and the unknown, while also being undeniably drawn to the happiness and connection she feels with Zoe.
Family Visit and External Pressures
Brooklyn's famous parents, Eleanor and Richard Shepard, visit Allerdale Playhouse. While she loves them, their presence brings back the familiar pressure of their expectations and the constant comparisons to their careers. They ask about her progress and subtly push her towards a more traditional path in theater. Brooklyn feels renewed unease about her developing relationship with Zoe, fearing her parents' reaction if they were to find out. She tries to keep her interactions with Zoe discreet during their visit, highlighting her internal conflict between her desire for independence and the ingrained need for her family's approval.
Noah's Interest and Brooklyn's Distraction
Noah, a fellow apprentice, begins to show more explicit romantic interest in Brooklyn. He is charming, talented, and represents a more conventional romantic path, which, in a way, offers Brooklyn a temporary break from the intensity of her feelings for Zoe. She agrees to spend time with him, even going on a date, partly to confirm her 'normalcy' and partly because she genuinely enjoys his company. However, her heart is not fully in it, and she finds herself constantly comparing her interactions with Noah to her connection with Zoe. This dalliance further complicates her self-discovery and causes some strain in her relationship with Zoe, who notices Brooklyn's wavering.
Confrontation and Clarity
The tension between Brooklyn and Zoe escalates, leading to a difficult conversation. Zoe, hurt and frustrated by Brooklyn's indecision and her interactions with Noah, confronts Brooklyn about her wavering commitment. She expresses her feelings clearly and asks where Brooklyn stands. This confrontation is a turning point for Brooklyn, forcing her to stop hiding from her true emotions. She realizes that her attempts to fit into preconceived notions of herself are causing pain to both her and Zoe. This direct challenge pushes Brooklyn towards a moment of clarity, where she begins to accept the depth of her feelings for Zoe and the truth of her own identity.
Embracing Her Truth
After the confrontation, Brooklyn makes the difficult but liberating decision to fully embrace her feelings for Zoe. She ends things with Noah, realizing that her heart is not with him and that she has been using him as a distraction. She apologizes to Zoe, explaining her fears and confusion, and reaffirms her love and commitment. This moment marks a significant turning point in Brooklyn's personal growth. She stops trying to fit into external expectations and instead chooses to honor her authentic self, accepting her sexuality and the love she shares with Zoe. This decision brings her a sense of peace and genuine happiness she hadn't experienced before.
The Showcase Performance
The summer program culminates in a final showcase performance for friends, family, and industry professionals. Brooklyn, now more confident and self-assured, channels her personal journey into her performance. She delivers a powerful and authentic portrayal, drawing on her experiences of self-discovery and love. Her performance is met with genuine applause, and she feels a strong sense of accomplishment, not just as an actress, but as an individual who has found her voice. Her parents are present and express their pride, seeing a new depth in her work, though the full extent of her personal journey remains her own secret for now.
Looking Towards the Future
As the summer draws to a close, Brooklyn and Zoe discuss their future. They acknowledge the challenges of distance once they return to their respective homes but commit to making their relationship work. They share intimate moments, making plans for visits and continuing their connection. Brooklyn feels excitement and optimism for what lies ahead, both in her artistic career and her personal life with Zoe. She has not only found love but has also discovered a deeper understanding of herself and her capabilities, ready to face the world with a newfound sense of authenticity and courage, no longer defined by her family's legacy alone.
Principal Figures
Brooklyn Shepard
The Protagonist
Brooklyn transforms from a hesitant young woman seeking external validation to a self-assured individual who embraces her true identity and finds her own artistic voice.
Zoe
The Supporting/Love Interest
Zoe remains largely consistent in her self-acceptance but serves as a crucial catalyst for Brooklyn's growth and self-realization.
Noah
The Supporting
Noah's arc is minor, serving mainly as a plot device to highlight Brooklyn's internal struggle and ultimate acceptance of her true self.
Eleanor Shepard
The Supporting/Mentioned
Eleanor's character remains consistent, embodying the external pressures Brooklyn is trying to navigate.
Richard Shepard
The Supporting/Mentioned
Richard's character remains consistent, representing the family's legacy and expectations.
Liam
The Supporting
Liam's arc is minor, serving as a consistent peer and friend within the apprenticeship setting.
Themes & Insights
Identity and Self-Discovery
The main theme is Brooklyn's journey to define herself, separate from her famous family's legacy. She grapples with who she is as an artist, questioning whether she can forge her own path or if she is destined to follow in her parents' footsteps. Her relationship with Zoe forces her to confront and accept her sexual identity, moving from confusion and fear to self-acceptance. This theme is evident in her initial desire to attend Allerdale anonymously and her internal struggles after kissing Zoe, ultimately leading to her embracing her true self by the end of the summer.
““Maybe I wasn’t just my parents’ daughter, or just an actress. Maybe I was just… me.””
First Love and Sexuality
This theme explores the intensity and confusion of first love, especially in the context of discovering one's sexuality. Brooklyn initially believes she is attracted to boys, making her developing feelings for Zoe a challenging revelation. The story sensitively portrays her internal conflict, fear of the unknown, and the exhilaration of falling in love for the first time with someone who helps her understand a new part of herself. The progression from friendship to romance with Zoe, and Brooklyn's struggle to accept it, is the emotional core of the narrative.
““It wasn't just friendship anymore, if it ever had been. It was something bigger, something that scared me and thrilled me all at once.””
Artistic Expression and Authenticity
The program at Allerdale is a backdrop for Brooklyn to explore her artistic identity. She initially struggles with improvisation and finding her unique voice, often feeling overshadowed by her parents' talent and the more uninhibited style of peers like Zoe. As she comes to terms with her personal identity and embraces her feelings for Zoe, her artistic expression also deepens and becomes more authentic. Her final showcase performance reflects her personal growth, showing how self-acceptance and emotional honesty can fuel powerful art.
““The stage wasn't just a place to pretend anymore. It was a place to be real.””
Family Expectations vs. Individual Desires
Brooklyn comes from a family of celebrated Broadway stars, and much of her initial motivation stems from a desire to escape their shadow and prove herself independently. While she loves her parents, their fame and the expectations that come with it create pressure. This theme is explored through her initial anonymity at Allerdale, her internal conflict about her parents' visits, and her ultimate decision to pursue a life and love that might not fit their preconceived notions. The story highlights the tension between familial loyalty and the need for personal autonomy.
““Being a Shepard meant something. It meant talent, yes, but it also meant a path already laid out, and I wasn't sure I wanted to walk it.””
Plot Devices & Literary Techniques
The Apprenticeship Setting (Allerdale Playhouse)
A contained environment for intense personal and artistic growth.
The Allerdale Playhouse apprenticeship serves as a classic 'fish out of water' setting for Brooklyn, isolating her from her familiar life and family pressures. This intense, competitive, and communal environment forces her into close proximity with new people, particularly Zoe, and accelerates her self-discovery. The demanding schedule and artistic challenges push her out of her comfort zone, while the shared experience fosters deep bonds, making it an ideal crucible for both romantic and personal development.
The Dual Role of Acting
A metaphor for identity and a means of self-expression.
Acting functions on multiple levels. Initially, it's Brooklyn's passion and her attempt to forge her own identity, separate from her famous parents. However, it also becomes a metaphor for the 'roles' she tries to play in her personal life, particularly in her confusion about her sexuality. As she grows, acting transforms into a powerful tool for authentic self-expression, allowing her to channel her newfound understanding of herself into her performances, demonstrating a deeper connection between her art and her true identity.
The 'First Kiss' Trope
A pivotal moment that catalyzes profound internal conflict and self-realization.
The first kiss between Brooklyn and Zoe is a classic romantic trope, but it serves a more profound purpose here. It's not just a romantic milestone but a catalyst for Brooklyn's sexual awakening and identity crisis. This single event shatters her preconceived notions of herself and forces her to confront her true feelings and attractions, driving the central conflict of her journey. The emotional weight of this moment sets the course for the rest of her summer of self-discovery.
Critical analysis
Notable Quotes
““Sometimes the most important things are the ones you don't see coming.””
— A character has an unexpected realization about their life path.
““You can't live your life looking in the rearview mirror.””
— A friend advises another to move on from past mistakes or heartbreaks.
““Being brave doesn't mean you aren't scared. It means you do it anyway.””
— A character faces a significant challenge and decides to push through their fear.
““The best stories are the ones you live, not just read.””
— Someone encourages another to seek out real-life experiences rather than just consuming media.
““It's okay to not have all the answers. Sometimes the journey is the point.””
— During a moment of uncertainty, a character finds comfort in the process of discovery.
““Home isn't a place, it's a feeling. It's where you're truly yourself.””
— A character reflects on finding belonging and acceptance.
““Maybe we're all just trying to find the right person to get lost with.””
— A romantic thought shared between two characters about companionship.
““Don't wait for permission to be happy.””
— A character realizes they have the power to choose their own happiness.
““Every goodbye is a new hello, if you're brave enough to look for it.””
— Reflecting on endings and new beginnings after a significant change.
““Sometimes the quiet moments are the loudest.””
— A character observes the profound impact of subtle interactions or internal thoughts.
““The heart has its own compass, and it rarely points where you expect.””
— A character struggles with unexpected romantic feelings.
““You can't edit your past, but you can write your future.””
— A character comes to terms with past regrets and decides to focus on moving forward.
““Life is full of forks in the road. The trick is to enjoy the journey, whichever path you choose.””
— A character contemplates significant life choices and the importance of embracing the present.
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Key Questions (FAQ)
Brooklyn Shepard spends her summer at the Allerdale Playhouse, an acting apprenticeship program. This remote location offers her a chance to step away from her famous family and explore her own identity, both artistically and personally, without their influence.
