Erin Entrada Kelly (2015)
Genre
Children's / Young Adult
Reading Time
240 min
Key Themes
See below
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A Filipino-American girl in Louisiana finds her voice and identity through music and new friendships after being ostracized in middle school.
Twelve-year-old Apple Yengko, a Filipino-American girl in Louisiana, faces a humiliating experience when her name appears on the 'Dog Log,' a list of the 'ugliest' girls in school created by her male classmates. Her inclusion devastates her. Her two best friends, Sweetie and Cass, distance themselves. Sweetie becomes especially cold and critical, siding with the popular girls and making Apple feel isolated and ashamed of her Filipino heritage. Apple's mother, who struggles with English and traditional Filipino customs, adds to Apple's feelings of being different and 'too American,' worsening her middle school anxieties.
Overwhelmed by social struggles and feeling out of place, Apple seeks an escape. She discovers a deep connection to music, particularly rock and roll, and dreams of buying an electric guitar. She starts saving money from her allowance and odd jobs, seeing the guitar as a symbol of change and a path to a new, cooler identity. This aspiration becomes a secret, personal project that gives her purpose and hope amid daily humiliation at school. Her mother, focused on Apple's academics and traditional values, does not understand this new passion, further isolating Apple in her musical pursuit.
Amid her isolation, Apple begins to notice Mylo, a quiet, quirky boy who is also an outcast, and Colette, a confident, flamboyant girl who does not care about fitting in. Initially hesitant, Apple is drawn to their genuine personalities and shared experience of being different. Mylo introduces Apple to his love for classic rock, sharing his music collection and deepening her appreciation for guitar legends. Colette, with her bold fashion sense and refusal to conform, shows Apple a world where being unique is celebrated. These new friendships give Apple much-needed support and a sense of belonging.
The school announces its annual talent show, an event that brings mixed emotions for Apple. On one hand, it is a daunting public stage she dreads. On the other, it sparks ambition: if she could learn to play guitar well enough, she might perform and prove herself. This idea, while exciting, is also terrifying. She continues to save diligently for her guitar, practicing air guitar in secret and immersing herself in Mylo's music collection, imagining herself as a rock star. The talent show becomes a looming deadline and a possible turning point for Apple's self-perception.
After persistent saving, Apple finally has enough money for her first electric guitar. The purchase is a big moment, a tangible representation of her dreams. However, learning to play is much harder than she imagined. Her fingers ache, chords are complex, and progress is slow and frustrating. She struggles with the instrument's technical demands, often feeling discouraged. Mylo, with his vast music knowledge, tries to offer advice and encouragement, but Apple often feels inadequate, fearing she might not have the talent she hoped for. This early struggle tests her determination and commitment to her musical aspirations.
Colette helps boost Apple's self-esteem. She encourages Apple to express herself through clothing and attitude, saying that being different is a strength. Colette's individuality helps Apple question the pressure to conform and to feel ashamed of her heritage. Through Colette's influence, Apple starts to experiment with her own style and becomes more comfortable. Colette's belief in Apple's potential, both musically and personally, gives Apple the confidence she needs to keep pursuing her dreams and slowly let go of her insecurities.
As Apple grows more confident, she has a significant confrontation with Sweetie, her former best friend. Sweetie, still clinging to her new, popular friends, tries to belittle Apple and make her feel bad about her developing friendships with Mylo and Colette. However, Apple, no longer the insecure girl she once was, stands up for herself. She expresses her hurt and disappointment about Sweetie's betrayal, refusing to let Sweetie's words affect her anymore. This encounter marks a turning point for Apple, as she closes the chapter on that toxic friendship and fully embraces her new, supportive friends.
The night of the talent show arrives, filling Apple with nerves and excitement. Despite her initial stage fright, she takes the stage with her electric guitar. She plays a song she has practiced diligently, putting her heart into the performance. While not perfect, her passion and courage show through. The audience, including her mother, Mylo, and Colette, responds with applause. This performance is not about winning a prize, but about personal triumph. It is a public declaration of her identity, her resilience, and her commitment to her dreams, proving to herself and others that she is more than just the girl on the 'Dog Log.'
After the talent show, Apple and her mother have a heartfelt conversation. Her mother expresses pride in Apple's bravery and talent, acknowledging that she had not fully understood Apple's passion for music. Apple, in turn, begins to understand her mother's desire to protect her and her struggles with adapting to American culture. This moment marks a shift in their relationship, moving towards mutual respect and understanding. Apple realizes that while her mother may not always understand her 'American' aspirations, she loves and supports her, bridging the cultural gap that once felt wide between them.
By the end of the story, Apple has embraced her multifaceted identity. She no longer feels she needs to choose between being 'Filipino' or 'American,' but sees herself as a unique individual who embodies both. Her friendships with Mylo and Colette thrive, built on authenticity and mutual respect. She continues to practice guitar, finding joy and self-expression in music. Apple learns that true belonging comes from within and from surrounding herself with people who appreciate her for who she is, rather than trying to conform to others' expectations. She is a future rock star, but more importantly, she is Apple, confident and true to herself.
The Protagonist
Apple transforms from an insecure, ostracized girl into a confident, self-accepting individual who embraces her unique identity and passions.
The Supporting
She learns to better understand and accept Apple's Americanized identity and passions, bridging their cultural divide.
The Supporting
Mylo remains a consistent and supportive friend, helping Apple find her musical voice and confidence.
The Supporting
Colette remains a beacon of individuality and support, inspiring Apple to embrace her true self.
The Antagonist
Sweetie's character remains largely static, serving as a foil to Apple's journey of self-discovery and a representation of superficial social pressures.
The Supporting
Cass remains a passive character, illustrating the less active but still damaging aspect of social betrayal.
The Mentioned
Their role is to initiate conflict and represent external social pressures; they do not undergo significant development.
A main theme is Apple's struggle to define herself amidst cultural expectations and social pressures. She feels torn between her Filipino heritage and her desire to be 'American,' often feeling ashamed of her mother's differences. Her journey involves accepting her unique background and passions, particularly her love for music, as parts of who she is. This is clear when she performs at the talent show, not to win, but to celebrate her true self, and when she reconciles with her mother, understanding that her identity can include both worlds.
“Maybe being a rock star wasn't about being famous, or even about being good. Maybe it was about being yourself. No matter what.”
The novel explores the changing nature of middle school friendships, showing both the pain of betrayal and the strength of real connection. Apple experiences deep hurt when Sweetie and Cass abandon her after the 'Dog Log' incident, choosing popularity over loyalty. This betrayal forces Apple to seek new relationships, leading her to the supportive and authentic friendships with Mylo and Colette. Their acceptance helps Apple heal and understand what true friendship means, contrasting sharply with her former friends' superficiality. The story shows that true friends celebrate individuality rather than demanding conformity.
“It was like Sweetie and Cass had carved out a piece of her and taken it with them, leaving a hollow space.”
Apple deals with her Filipino heritage and the pressure to fit into American culture. Her mother's traditional customs, accent, and food choices often embarrass Apple, making her feel 'other' among her peers. Her mother's 'too American' accusation creates tension between them. The novel subtly addresses the challenges of immigrant families, where children often navigate a cultural divide from their parents. Apple's journey involves learning to appreciate her heritage while also making her own path, finding a balance between her two worlds, as seen in her eventual understanding with her mother.
“Her mom always said, 'You are becoming too American.' Apple didn't know what that meant, exactly, but it always felt like an accusation.”
Music is an escape, a source of inspiration, and a way for Apple to express herself. When she feels most alone and misunderstood, the dream of playing guitar gives her purpose and a sense of identity. Mylo introduces her to classic rock, expanding her musical world and offering a shared passion. Learning to play the guitar, despite its challenges, becomes a metaphor for Apple's personal growth and resilience. Her talent show performance, even if imperfect, is a moment of triumph where music allows her to confidently share her true self with the world.
“The guitar wasn't just wood and strings. It was a promise. A promise that she could be someone else. Someone better.”
A list ranking the 'ugliest' girls in school, serving as a catalyst for Apple's emotional journey.
The 'Dog Log' is a crucial plot device that immediately establishes Apple's central conflict: her social isolation and deep insecurity. It is the inciting incident that shatters her existing friendships and forces her into a period of profound self-doubt. The list represents the cruel and arbitrary nature of middle school social hierarchies and acts as a constant reminder of her perceived 'otherness.' Its existence drives Apple to seek an escape and ultimately, to find new, more authentic connections and a stronger sense of self.
A tangible symbol of Apple's aspirations, identity, and personal growth.
The electric guitar functions as a powerful symbol throughout the novel. Initially, it represents Apple's secret dream of a cooler, more confident identity, a means of escaping her current reality. The act of saving for it demonstrates her determination. Once acquired, the challenges of learning to play mirror her struggles with self-acceptance and finding her voice. Ultimately, the guitar becomes a tool for self-expression and a testament to her resilience, culminating in her talent show performance where she literally 'plays' her way to self-acceptance.
A high-stakes event that provides a stage for Apple's personal triumph and public declaration of self.
The school talent show serves as a conventional but effective plot device, creating a clear goal and a climactic moment for Apple's character arc. It initially presents as a daunting challenge, symbolizing her fear of public judgment. However, as she gains confidence and skill with her guitar, it transforms into an opportunity for her to publicly embrace her true self and her passion. Her performance is not about winning, but about overcoming her fears and making a statement of her identity, providing a satisfying resolution to her journey of self-acceptance.
“The worst part of being a kid was that you had to live with your parents. It was like being a prisoner in a castle, but the castle was your own house and the guards were your mom and dad.”
— Main character Apple's reflection on her home life and lack of agency.
“Music was the only thing that made sense. It was a secret language, and I was finally learning to speak it.”
— Apple discovers the transformative power of music, particularly The Beatles.
“Sometimes I felt like I was in a movie, and the director kept yelling, 'Cut! No, not like that! Do it again!' But there was no director, just me, messing up my own scenes.”
— Apple's internal struggle with self-doubt and feeling out of control.
“Being a girl was like being a puzzle with a lot of missing pieces. Everyone expected you to be complete, but you were always just... bits and pieces.”
— Apple's thoughts on the complexities and expectations of girlhood.
“The world was full of grown-ups who thought they knew everything, but they didn't know anything about being a kid.”
— Apple's frustration with adults' inability to understand her perspective.
“It was like the whole world was a giant record player, and my life was stuck on the wrong speed.”
— Apple's feeling of being out of sync with her surroundings and peers.
“You couldn't just wish away bad things. You had to face them, even if your knees were knocking like castanets.”
— Apple's realization about confronting difficulties instead of avoiding them.
“Friendship was a delicate thing, like a spiderweb. One wrong move and it could break.”
— Apple's cautious approach to her new friendship with Sarah.
“Sometimes, the quietest people had the loudest thoughts.”
— Apple, a quiet observer, reflects on inner lives.
“The best kind of magic was the kind you made yourself, with your own hands and your own heart.”
— Apple's growing understanding of agency and self-creation, not external magic.
“Grief was a strange animal. It curled up inside you and sometimes it purred, and sometimes it clawed.”
— Apple's experience with the lingering sadness related to her brother's death.
“You didn't have to be perfect to be loved. You just had to be yourself, messy bits and all.”
— A key lesson Apple learns about self-acceptance and belonging.
“The world was a scary place, but it was also full of little pockets of light, if you knew where to look.”
— Apple's evolving perspective on life, balancing hardship with hope.
“Finding your voice was like finding a secret tunnel. Once you found it, you could go anywhere.”
— Apple's journey towards self-expression and speaking her truth.
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