“I am not a princess. I am not a damsel in distress. I am a queen.”
— Astrid's internal monologue about her identity.
Archivist's Choice
Ask the Passengers
A.S. King (2012)
Genre
Young Adult / Romance
Reading Time
360 min
Key Themes
See below
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A queer teen, stifled by her small-minded town and distant parents, finds solace and unexpected connection by confessing her deepest fears and desires to the anonymous passengers flying high above her backyard.
Synopsis
Astrid Jones, a high school student in a small, judgmental town, feels isolated and unable to confide in her parents about her feelings for another girl, Dee. Instead, she lies on her backyard picnic table, looking up at airplanes, and silently 'asks' the passengers her most personal questions about love, identity, and her same-sex relationship. Meanwhile, the town's scrutiny, shown by her mother's overbearing nature and a local gossip column, pressures Astrid to act 'normal.' As Astrid and Dee's relationship grows, Astrid fears judgment, leading to a secret romance. The passengers, unknowingly receiving Astrid's questions, experience subtle shifts in their own lives, thinking about love, truth, and connection. Eventually, pressure from her friends and the intensity of her feelings push Astrid to confront her fears. She slowly begins to come out, first to Dee, then publicly, through an art project that declares her love and identity. This act creates a ripple effect, challenging the town's narrow views and allowing Astrid to find her voice, embrace her true self, and openly experience love.
Reading time
360 min
Difficulty
Medium
Pacing
Moderate
Mood
Introspective, Hopeful, Thought-provoking, Poignant
✓ Read this if...
You enjoy introspective young adult novels about self-discovery, first love, and challenging societal norms, with a touch of magical realism.
✗ Skip this if...
You prefer fast-paced plots with minimal internal monologue or are looking for a straightforward, realistic romance without metaphorical elements.
Plot Summary
The Picnic Table and the Passengers
Astrid Jones, a seventeen-year-old living in a small, judgmental town, finds comfort on her backyard picnic table. She lies on her back, watching airplanes fly overhead, and confesses her deepest secrets and questions to the unseen passengers. She knows they can't hear her, but she imagines them as a non-judgmental audience. Her main problem is her growing romantic feelings for a girl named Dee, a secret she believes no one in her conservative town, especially her parents, would understand or accept. Her mother, Joanne, is overly critical and focused on appearances, while her father, Bill, is distant and absorbed in his own life. Astrid feels alone, unable to confide in anyone in her immediate life.
The Art Class and Dee
Astrid's relationship with Dee, initially a friendship, begins to change during their shared art class. Dee, an openly artistic and free-spirited girl, encourages Astrid to express herself more truly. Their interactions, filled with shared glances and quiet understandings, make Astrid face the intensity of her feelings. She feels increasingly drawn to Dee, experiencing emotions she's never felt before. This growing connection creates internal conflict for Astrid; while she enjoys time with Dee, the fear of societal condemnation and her parents' reactions is strong, making her further retreat into her imagined conversations with the airplane passengers.
The Town's Gaze and Judge Judy
Astrid feels constantly watched by the residents of her small town, whom she calls 'Judge Judy' – a group that observes and judges everyone. Her mother, Joanne, shows this judgmental spirit, often making critical remarks about others and emphasizing the importance of appearing 'normal.' This constant pressure to conform makes Astrid even more secretive about her sexuality. She sees the town as a suffocating place where individuality, especially anything outside the norm, is met with disapproval. This societal pressure reinforces her belief that she must hide her true self, particularly her feelings for Dee.
The Kiss and the Secret
One evening, after an art class, Astrid and Dee share a passionate kiss. This moment is a turning point for Astrid, confirming the depth of her feelings for Dee and solidifying their romantic connection. While exciting, the kiss also makes Astrid more confused and afraid. The reality of her relationship with Dee now feels more concrete and therefore more dangerous in her conservative surroundings. She struggles with the joy of being with Dee versus the overwhelming anxiety of being discovered. This secret becomes a heavy burden, further isolating her from her family and friends, except for the imagined passengers.
The Art Project and Self-Expression
Astrid's art project, a self-portrait, becomes a key way to express her internal struggles. She tries to capture her true self, but the process is difficult as she tries to balance her public image with her private feelings for Dee. Her art teacher encourages her to explore deeper meanings, pushing Astrid to confront her hidden truths. The project symbolizes her desire for authenticity and the struggle to reveal her true identity. She wants to express her love for Dee openly, but the fear of rejection and judgment from her family and community holds her back, making her art a battleground for her conflicting desires.
The Friend's Interrogation
Astrid's friends, especially her long-time best friend, become more aware of her secretive behavior and emotional distance. They sense a change in her and begin to ask her questions. These questions, though well-intentioned, only add to Astrid's stress and isolation. She feels immense pressure to keep her secret, fearing that revealing the truth about Dee would lead to judgment and the loss of her friendships. This further reinforces her belief that she cannot trust anyone in her immediate circle, pushing her deeper into her solitary conversations with the airplane passengers, who remain her only confidantes.
The Passenger's Interventions
As Astrid continues her confessions, the imagined passengers begin to appear in unexpected ways. While she doesn't directly interact with them, their presence (or her belief in their listening) subtly influences her decisions and perceptions. She starts to see the world differently, feeling a strange sense of connection and validation from these unseen individuals. The passengers, metaphorically, empower her to question societal norms and to consider her own desires more seriously. This internal shift, fueled by her unique coping mechanism, slowly builds her courage to confront her fears and move towards self-acceptance.
The Confrontation and the Truth
Driven by a growing sense of urgency and the subtle influence of her 'passengers,' Astrid reaches a breaking point. She confronts her mother, Joanne, not explicitly about Dee at first, but about the stifling expectations and judgmental atmosphere of their home. This confrontation is difficult, with Joanne initially reacting defensively and critically. However, Astrid, now more determined, pushes back against her mother's ingrained prejudices and her need for control. This initial step, though painful, marks the beginning of Astrid's journey towards openly acknowledging her identity and challenging the unspoken rules that have governed her life.
Coming Out to Dee
With new courage, Astrid has a heartfelt conversation with Dee. She openly expresses her love and commitment, no longer letting fear control her words. This moment is important because it changes their relationship from a hidden secret to an acknowledged bond. Dee, who has been patient and understanding, returns Astrid's feelings, strengthening their connection. This conversation is a crucial step for Astrid in embracing her identity and accepting her love, not just privately, but in the presence of the person she cares about most. It's a personal declaration of freedom and acceptance.
The Public Declaration
Astrid, having found her voice, makes a public statement, though not necessarily a grand, dramatic one. This could be a subtle but firm act of defiance against the town's judgment, or perhaps a more direct, yet still personal, declaration of her love for Dee. The exact nature of this 'public declaration' is somewhat ambiguous but shows Astrid's refusal to be defined by others' expectations. It's a powerful act of self-acceptance, demonstrating her growth from a fearful, isolated girl to someone who is willing to live authentically, regardless of the consequences.
The Ripple Effect
Astrid's journey, particularly her decision to live authentically, has a subtle ripple effect on the people around her. While not explicitly detailed, her courage inspires others to question their own ideas or to find their own voices. The 'passengers' she confides in are a metaphor for universal human connection, and her story, in its unique way, touches those who are open to it. Her act of self-acceptance, even if initially met with resistance, plants seeds of change and understanding within her community, showing the power of individual truth in a world prone to judgment.
Finding Her Voice and Love
By the end of the story, Astrid has changed significantly. She has moved from intense fear and isolation to self-acceptance and authenticity. She no longer needs the imagined passengers as her only confidantes, having found the strength to confide in Dee and to some extent, to confront her family and community. She embraces her love for Dee openly, no longer hiding who she is. This journey has its challenges, but Astrid emerges as a stronger, more self-assured individual, ready to navigate the world on her own terms, defined by her own truth.
Principal Figures
Astrid Jones
The Protagonist
Astrid transforms from a fearful, isolated girl hiding her true self to a courageous young woman who embraces her identity and love, finding her voice and challenging societal norms.
Dee
The Supporting
Dee remains a steady, supportive presence, a beacon of acceptance for Astrid, whose unwavering love helps Astrid on her journey.
Joanne Jones
The Antagonist/Supporting
Joanne initially resists Astrid's self-expression but begins a slow, difficult process of understanding and accepting her daughter's true self, showing glimmers of change.
Bill Jones
The Supporting
Bill remains largely static, representing the emotional void in Astrid's family, though his eventual quiet acceptance of Astrid's truth offers a small measure of support.
The Passengers
The Supporting/Metaphorical
The Passengers serve as a constant, unwavering presence, guiding Astrid towards self-acceptance by providing a safe space for her confessions.
Judge Judy (Metaphorical)
The Antagonist/Metaphorical
Judge Judy's influence diminishes as Astrid gains confidence, symbolizing her growing defiance against societal judgment.
Astrid's Friends
The Supporting
Astrid's relationship with her friends becomes strained as she keeps her secret, but their reactions eventually highlight the need for her to be true to herself.
Themes & Insights
Identity and Self-Acceptance
The main theme is Astrid's struggle to understand and accept her own identity, especially her sexuality. She deals with societal expectations versus her true self. Her confessions to the airplane passengers are a way for her to process who she is and what she desires, free from external judgment. The art class scenes, where she tries to create a self-portrait, show this internal struggle, as she tries to capture her true self on canvas, reflecting her journey towards embracing her love for Dee and challenging the 'normal' facade her mother expects.
“I tell the passengers everything. They are my only safe place.”
Societal Judgment and Conformity
The novel critiques the pressures of a small, conservative town and its collective 'Judge Judy' mentality. Astrid's mother, Joanne, shows this theme, constantly emphasizing appearances and 'what people will think.' This pervasive judgment creates an environment where Astrid feels she must hide her true self, especially her love for Dee. The fear of being outcast and the desire to fit in are powerful forces that Astrid must overcome to achieve self-acceptance. The town's narrow-mindedness highlights the universal struggle against societal norms that stifle individuality.
“This town is full of people who want to tell you how to live. And if you don't listen, they'll just make it up for you.”
The Power of Connection (Real and Imagined)
Despite her isolation, Astrid finds deep connection, first through her imagined conversations with the airplane passengers, and later through her real relationship with Dee. The passengers, though imagined, provide a crucial psychological space for her to be heard and understood, helping her process complex emotions. This imagined connection eventually empowers her to seek and build real connections, particularly with Dee, who offers genuine acceptance and love. The novel suggests that even the belief in connection can be transformative, leading to the courage to form authentic relationships.
“Sometimes, the people who love you the most are the hardest to talk to. So you talk to strangers.”
Family Dynamics and Communication Breakdown
Astrid's family life is marked by a significant lack of communication. Her mother's critical nature and her father's emotional distance leave Astrid feeling unheard and unsupported. This lack of open communication within her family forces Astrid to seek comfort in external, imagined sources. Her parents' inability to understand or even try to engage with her inner world makes Astrid's isolation and fear worse. The eventual, though difficult, confrontation with her mother represents a first step towards breaking these long-standing patterns of silence and misunderstanding.
“My parents live in a world where everything is fine, as long as it looks fine.”
Plot Devices & Literary Techniques
The Airplane Passengers
A metaphorical device for unconditional listening and universal connection.
The unseen airplane passengers serve as Astrid's only confidantes. This device allows Astrid to verbalize her deepest fears, questions, and desires without fear of judgment. They represent a universal, non-judgmental audience, providing a psychological safe space for Astrid to process her burgeoning identity and sexuality. By 'confessing' to them, Astrid externalizes her internal conflicts, which helps her gain clarity and courage. The passengers are a symbolic representation of the human need for connection and understanding, even when it feels absent in one's immediate environment.
The Picnic Table
A physical symbol of Astrid's retreat and a sacred space for self-reflection.
The picnic table in Astrid's backyard is more than just furniture; it's her sanctuary and observation deck. It's the physical space where she retreats from the pressures of her home and town to engage in her ritualistic confessions to the airplanes. The table symbolizes her isolation, but also her agency in creating a sacred space for self-reflection and emotional processing. It's a liminal space between her confined reality and the vast, open sky, representing her longing for freedom and understanding beyond her immediate world.
Art as Expression
A creative outlet for Astrid's unspoken thoughts and feelings.
Art, particularly Astrid's self-portrait project in class, serves as a powerful plot device for non-verbal expression. When words fail or are too dangerous, Astrid uses her art to explore her identity, her confusion, and her burgeoning love for Dee. The process of creating art allows her to externalize her inner turmoil and to experiment with different facets of her identity. The art teacher's encouragement pushes Astrid to delve deeper, making the art a mirror to her soul and a catalyst for her journey towards self-acceptance and authenticity.
Judge Judy (Metaphor)
A personification of societal judgment and the collective gaze of the town.
The metaphorical 'Judge Judy' represents the pervasive, judgmental atmosphere of Astrid's small town. This device personifies the critical eyes and wagging tongues that Astrid perceives, making the abstract concept of societal pressure feel tangible and oppressive. It highlights the constant fear Astrid lives with, the feeling of being under scrutiny for any deviation from the norm. This metaphor effectively conveys the suffocating environment that forces Astrid to hide her true self, emphasizing the stakes of her journey toward self-acceptance.
Critical analysis
Notable Quotes
“The universe is always talking to us. We just have to learn how to listen.”
— Astrid's recurring belief in receiving messages from above.
“Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is just be yourself.”
— Astrid contemplating her choices and desires.
“Love isn't supposed to hurt. It's supposed to feel like coming home.”
— Astrid reflecting on her past relationships and current feelings.
“We all carry our pasts with us, but we don't have to let them define our futures.”
— Astrid's journey of healing and moving forward.
“It's okay to not know all the answers. It's okay to be a work in progress.”
— Astrid's internal struggle with self-doubt and acceptance.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”
— Astrid's actions and thoughts about helping those around her.
“Art is not a mirror held up to reality but a hammer with which to shape it.”
— Astrid's evolving understanding of her art and its purpose.
“You can't control what other people do, but you can control how you react to it.”
— Astrid learning to navigate difficult family dynamics.
“The world is full of magic, you just have to know where to look.”
— Astrid's perspective on finding wonder in everyday life.
“Sometimes the people who love you the most are the ones who hurt you the deepest.”
— Astrid's complex relationship with her mother.
“Silence can be a powerful thing. It can hold a lot of unspoken truths.”
— Astrid observing the quiet moments and unsaid things in her life.
“Every single person on this planet is a universe unto themselves.”
— Astrid's thoughts on the individuality and complexity of people.
“Growing up is realizing that your parents are just people, flawed and figuring it out.”
— Astrid's changing perception of her parents as she matures.
“There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. And sometimes, alone is better.”
— Astrid embracing solitude and finding strength in her own company.
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Key Questions (FAQ)
Astrid struggles with the intense loneliness of keeping her romantic relationship with a girl, Dee, a secret from her judgmental small town, her unsupportive parents, and even her close friends. This internal conflict is amplified by the pressure to conform to societal expectations and her desire for authentic connection.
About the author
A.S. King is an award-winning author of young adult fiction, recognized for her unique voice and exploration of complex themes. Her notable works include 'Everybody Sees the Ants,' 'Please Ignore Vera Dietz,' and 'Still Life with Tornado,' which have earned critical acclaim for their blend of realism and surrealism. King's writing often delves into identity, family, and societal pressures with unflinching honesty.
